With an Alien People Clutching Their Gods
by mikelesq
Summary: *COMPLETE* After Buffy’s death, the Scoobies face a new threat, and one of Glory’s minions devotes his life to the worship of his new goddess. Set during the summer between Seasons 5 and 6 of BtVS. WIP.
1. Prologue A Cold Coming

With an Alien People Clutching Their Gods  
  
By Mikelesq  
  
Concept: After Buffy's death, the Scoobies face a new threat, and one of Glory's minions devotes his life to the worship of his new goddess. Set during the summer between Seasons 5 and 6 of BtVS.  
  
Rating: PG-13.  
  
Feedback: Please. E-mail Mikelesq@aol.com   
  
Spoilers: Up to the "Bargaining," Episode of Season 6.  
  
Legal disclaimers: "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" characters and situations are owned by Joss Whedon and the producers of the show. The story is entirely fiction. Distribute if you like. The title, chaper titles, and lines quoted are from T.S. Eliot's "Journey of the Magi." Thanks to Estepheia for the plot bunny.  
  
------------------------  
  
Prologue - A Cold Coming  
  
  
"Ugh! This is hopeless!"  
  
Dawn threw her pen onto the table in disgust. She squinted down at the book she'd been reading, then glanced over at her notebook. The left hand page of the notebook contained her notes from the prior night's reading. The page on the right was a chaotic collage of doodles, scribbles and cross-outs.  
  
Dawn sighed. She'd already taken as many breaks as she could justify. She'd browsed through some of the spell books at the upper level of the Magic Box. She'd gone into the back room and thrown Chinese stars at the practice dummy. None of them had actually hit the dummy, but the last few had at least managed to travel in the right general direction.   
  
Dawn had convinced Willow and Tara to let her do her summer reading at the Magic Box by arguing that it was free of distractions. Quite unintentionally, Dawn had been correct.  
  
Dawn picked up the assignment sheet, and read to herself:  
  
"SUMMER ASSIGNMENT FOR ENGLISH I: Read the attached list of poems and be prepared to discuss them at the first class. Make note of any literary devices employed (symbolism, metaphor, irony, etc.). Be prepared to discuss any common themes that run through the various works."  
  
She tossed aside the paper in disgust. She took a deep breath, prepared to dive back into the reading, but then was quite happy when the silence was broken by the clang of the bell at the Magic Box door.  
  
"Try not to move it," Anya said, holding open the door of the Magic Box. "I'll get the ace bandages."  
  
"It's fine," Xander said, grasping his wrist and following her in. "It's just a sprain. I've had worse."  
  
"Wouldn't have been so bad if you hadn't dropped the axe," Spike called from the sidewalk, taking a final drag off his cigarette before flicking it to the street.  
  
"Spike, I believe it was your exclamation that Xander was a 'clumsy git' that actually distracted him," Giles replied as he entered behind Willow, Tara and the Buffybot.  
  
"The damned thing missed my foot by a hair's width," Spike grumbled, walking in and closing the door behind him.  
  
"Rough night?" Dawn asked, looking up from her textbook as the Scoobies entered the shop.  
  
"Not so bad," Willow responded, walking over to the table.  
  
"We slayed vampires," the Buffybot exclaimed. "And I made quips!"  
  
"We got two vamps," Tara chimed in. "One got away, but still, we got two."  
  
"Woulda been a hat trick," Spike said, "if Paul Bunyon hadn't...."  
  
"Shut up, Spike," Xander said, as Anya wrapped his wrist at the counter.  
  
"How can you work with tools and have such a bloody awful grip?"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Will the two of you cut it out!" Willow admonished. "It was both of you shouting at each other that tipped off the vamps in the first place."  
  
"Did you order a STAKE?" the Buffybot said, as she pantomimed a thrusting motion into the chest of an imaginary vampire. The Bot flashed a wide grin and glanced around the Magic Box, searching for looks of approval.  
  
"Well, that's better than the one about pie," Dawn observed.  
  
"Oh, she said that one, too," Willow sighed as she walked to the front of the shop toward the magic ingredients. "The wisecracks are kind of a work in progress."  
  
"I guess it's just important that she's...I mean, that it's seen on patrol," Dawn said.   
  
"Yeah," Tara said. "You know, maybe it's good that one of the vamps got away. He'll tell everyone that he saw the Slayer."  
  
Tara paused as she felt the Scoobies' stares.  
  
"Just looking for a bright side," Tara mumbled, and then walked over to join Willow.  
  
"We're doing quite well," Giles said. "It's expected that there would be some...adjustments. We simply need to keep at it."  
  
"And keep the sharp objects away from clumsy gits," Spike added.  
  
"Spike!" Xander shouted. "One more word and I'll...ouch!"  
  
"Quit moving," Anya ordered, as she tightened the bandage.  
  
"Uh, Spike?" Dawn said, trying to change the subject. "Do you think you could give me a hand with this?"  
  
"What is it, Bit?" Spike asked.  
  
"More poetry," Dawn answered. "Summer reading sucks."  
  
"Spike's been assisting you with your studies?" Giles asked.  
  
"Yeah," Dawn said. "Most of these guys were writing this stuff back in Spike's day."  
  
"Spike," Giles said. "I didn't know you liked...."  
  
"I didn't," Spike shot back. "I mean, I don't. I didn't and I don't. All a bunch of bloody rot. Hated every minute of it when they'd force that poetry crap on us."  
  
"You and me both," Dawn said. "Anyway, I'm up to this one by T.S. Eliot."  
  
"Sorry," Spike said. "After my time."  
  
"That's OK," Dawn said. "The stuff you gave me on Byron really helped."  
  
"Ah, Lord Byron," Giles said, walking up behind Dawn. "I always found that his works were somewhat...."  
  
Giles' voice trailed off as his eyes caught the writing in Dawn's notebook. He picked up the notebook, skimmed Dawn's writings, and said:  
  
"Dawn, are these your notes on Lord Byron?"  
  
"Yeah," Dawn replied.  
  
"And you based your notations on Spike's...tutelage?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Dawn, perhaps I should assist you with your studies from now on."  
  
"What?" Spike exclaimed. "I laid it all out for her."  
  
"Spike," Giles sighed. "I hardly think that 'just imagine Angel moping like a sullen poof' does justice to the Byronic hero."  
  
"I thought that pretty much nailed it," Spike said.  
  
Dawn bit her bottom lip to keep from giggling.  
  
"Yes," Giles said. "Well, Spike, if you wouldn't mind, could you assist Willow and Tara?"  
  
"What are they doing?" Spike asked.  
  
"Nothing that will keep Dawn from graduating on schedule," Giles answered. "Please."  
  
"Oh, fine," Spike sighed. He turned toward the front of the store, then glanced back at Dawn, silently mouthing 'we'll talk.' Dawn smiled and mouthed 'got it.' Spike winked at Dawn, and then walked over to Tara and Willow.  
  
"What are you reading now?" Giles asked, turning his attention back to Dawn.  
  
"This one," Dawn said, lifting her textbook to show Giles.  
  
"Ah," Giles said after he'd caught the title. His eyes drifted upward, and he recited from memory:  
  
"A hard time we had of it.  
At the end we preferred to travel all night,  
Sleeping in snatches,  
With the voices singing in our ears, saying  
That this was all folly."  
  
"Whatever," Dawn said. "I just don't see what's so great about this one. I mean, these guys make this journey, right? They whine all the way there, then they get back, and they whine about leaving. The whole poem is just whine, whine, whine. Who wants to listen to characters who whine all the time? I don't believe I have to spend my summer reading poetry. This sucks. I hate my life."  
  
"They're not 'whining,' they're lamenting," Giles explained.  
  
"What's the difference?"  
  
"A good reason," Giles said. "The journey is a metaphor for change. The narrator has found himself trapped between two worlds. He's been exposed to both, but he belongs in neither. It's about isolation, confusion, angst. It's a rather large theme, actually. It's quite difficult to exist with contradictory beliefs. The human psyche craves consistency, clarity. It can be incredibly difficulty to live in harmony with starkly different ideologies."  
  
"Giles," Willow said, approaching the table. "Have you seen the concealing powder? I want to do an invisibility spell on my crucifix so I can have it on me at my cousin's Bar Mitzvah."  
  
Dawn looked up at Giles, who said:  
  
"Ahem....well, perhaps less difficult for some than for others."  
  
"Watcha doing?" Willow asked.  
  
"Poetry," Dawn said.  
  
"Oh," Willow said, glancing down at Dawn's textbook. "Oh, I remember this one! It's about the Three Wise Men."  
  
"But that's just it," Dawn argued. "It isn't. I mean, this isn't in the Bible. It never happened. It's just made up."  
  
"It's not 'just made up.' It's...inspired."  
  
"But, it's like this Eliot guy is just ripping off the story. I mean, why doesn't he just make up his own story with his own characters? Hello! Be original!"  
  
"That's not the point," Willow said. "It is original, because it tells a part of the story you didn't get to see. It picks up where the other story left off, filling in the blanks. I mean, let's say there was this TV show. And the guy who starred on the show was really cute, and you really like it, because the point of the show was, hey, it's OK to be smart and not fit in. So you decide, why not write a story about the show? So you post the story on a couple of bulletin boards, and then the internet comes around, and years later you still get emails about how the redhead girl that Doogie fell in love with was just the best...."  
  
Willow paused as she noticed the blank stares coming from Giles and Dawn.  
  
"Um, anyway," Willow muttered. "The poem's like that."  
  
"Uh, guys?" Dawn said. "Not that I don't appreciate all the help, but maybe you should all just concentrate on slaying demons."  
  
"You may have a point," Giles said. "The vampires this evening were not newly risen. They were obviously in that graveyard with a purpose. We should start researching."  
  
"Yeah," Tara agreed. "It's been tough enough just trying to keep the vampire population down. The last thing we need are any surprises."  
  
Before Giles could respond, the jingle of the bell above the door sounded through the Magic Box. Everyone turned, and saw a wrinkled mess of a demon in a brown robe standing at the entrance.  
  
"Christ!" Xander exclaimed, jumping backwards.  
  
"You," Spike growled, morphing into his vamp face.  
  
Willow clenched her teeth, ready to make a quick incantation. Dawn trembled in her seat, petrified with fear.  
  
"A good evening to you all," the demon said, a wide smile crossing his face.  
  
"You'll understand if we don't return your salutation," Giles said, his eyes fixed on the demon.  
  
"And you'll also understand if we chop you up into little demon pieces," Xander said, regaining his composure. "We gave Glory the beating she had coming, so we're more than willing to take on any of her minions who thinks he can...."  
  
"Oh, no, no, no, no!" the demon said, raising his open hands in the air. "You misunderstand me. I come to bury Glory, not to praise her."  
  
"Bury her?" Xander asked. "What are you talking about? There's no body. Ben ran off, and Glory's...."  
  
"It's Shakespeare, Xander," Giles interrupted. "If I understand you...er...?"  
  
"Jinx," the demon replied. "I am called Jinx."  
  
"Ah, yes, Jinx," Giles continued. "If I understand your meaning, you have a purpose here that does not involve trying to kill us?"  
  
"Or torture us," Spike snarled.  
  
"Or rob us of our minds," Tara spat, with a hint of tears in her voice.  
  
"None of that," Jinx replied, with a pleasant tone that showed no regard for the obvious hatred directed toward him.  
  
"Then, what?" Giles asked.  
  
"I am here to pledge my service, my loyalty, my very life to my new god. I humbly offer my pathetic self to whatever enterprise she might find worthy of her most splendid attention."  
  
"Your new god?" Xander said. "There...there's a god here? Who?"  
  
Jinx responded by crossing the room and dropping to his knees at the feet of the Buffybot.  
  
"Oh, most powerful Buffy!" Jinx implored. "Please accept my most unworthy offer of allegiance!"  
  
The Scoobies watched in stunned silence, until Anya finally said:  
  
"Well, that's different."  
  
  
TBC  
Author's Note: Big 'thank yous' to Estepheia and Abbylee for their imput and advice. 


	2. Part I And Arrived at Evening, Not a Mo...

Part I - And Arrived at Evening, Not a Moment Too Soon  
  
  
"So if I understand you correctly," Giles said, "you have decided, after almost a year of trying to kill Buffy, that you now wish to...worship her?"  
  
"I DO worship her," Jinx corrected. "I adore the ground she treads, the air she breathes! I would gladly lay before her, so that she could wipe the dirt of her shoes on my most loathesome back."  
  
"Thank you," the Buffybot replied. "My shoes are clean now. But it's very nice of you to offer!"  
  
"Alright," Xander said. "First of all, that's SO creepy. Second, where did you get the idea that the...I mean, that Buffy is a god?"  
  
"She must be!" Jinx exclaimed. "She defeated the all-powerful Glorificus! Oh, I cannot believe the years I wasted in the service of an inferior being. Curse my eyes, for not seeing the superior beauty, the infinite power, the ultimate perfection that is...Buffy!"  
  
"Does that mean I'm pretty?" the Buffybot asked.  
  
"You are resplendent!" Jinx exclaimed. "You are the unparalleled embodiment of all that is pleasing and delightful! My wretched eyes drink the exquisite perfection of your beauty!"  
  
The Buffybot absorbed this, then asked:  
  
"Does that mean I'm pretty?"  
  
"Er...well...yes. Very pretty."  
  
"Thank you!"  
  
"Alright, look," Willow said. "Jinx, we all helped defeat Glory. It was a group effort. So I really don't see...."  
  
"But none of YOU returned from the dead," Jinx pointed out.  
  
A hush fell over the Magic Box as the Scoobies exchanged concerned glances.  
  
"W-w-well," Giles finally said. "I-I-I can see where that would lead you to...Jinx, what makes you think that...?"  
  
"I saw it with my own eyes," Jinx explained. "I waited in Glory's chamber, ready to bear her clothes and...well, mostly her clothes, to the next dimension. I heared the thunder as the portal opened. I rushed outside, carrying the first three bags of open toed pumps, and Glory was nowhere to be found. Buffy hurled herself from the tower, closing the portal. Her limp body fell to the ground, and you carried her away. Many days later I saw you bury her."  
  
"You were watching us?" Anya said.  
  
"I observed," Jinx admitted. "I was somewhat...I really didn't have anywhere else to...well, no matter. What is important is that the splendid one was put to rest in the ground, but here she is! Alive, in all of her glor...I mean, in all of her delicious...wonderful...um...scrumptious...."  
  
"Running out of superlatives?" Tara asked.  
  
"It happens," Jinx admitted.   
  
"Yes, well," Giles said. "I certainly can...understand...your position on this matter. If you wouldn't mind, we could use a moment to...that is, we need to consult with Buffy, to see if she will allow you to offer your services."  
  
"Oh, but of course!" Jinx said. "Please, give counsel to her most supreme...er...superior...."  
  
"Divinity?" Willow suggested.  
  
"Yes! That's a good one! I'll just put my woeful hands to whatever service you deem worthy of my deplorable attention."  
  
"Well," Anya said. "Now that you mention it, I could use some help sweeping up the...."  
  
Anya stopped as she realized that the Scoobies were staring at her. Xander squinted a disapproving scowl.  
  
"What!?" Anya exclaimed. "He offered! So what if he's evil? You people used me and Spike to do all kinds of things back when we were evil!"  
  
"Hey!" Spike retorted. "Still quite evil, thank you!"  
  
"Oh, please!" Anya replied. "When was the last time you did anything really evil?"  
  
"I do evil things all the time," Spike argued. "I...I just don't go showin' it off is all. I'm secure enough in MY evil so that I got nothing to prove."  
  
"Riiiiight," Anya said. "Have you ever been to Egypt? Because I think you're taking a trip down a little river called...."  
  
"Will the two of you please stop?" Giles interrupted. "Jinx, as you can see, we really do need to...consult. If you woudn't mind?" Giles gestured toward the front displays.  
  
"Oh, fine," Anya muttered. "Just go stand over there. Stand on the dirty floor, with your dirty feet, right next to the nice, clean broom. See if I care."  
  
Jinx bowed, then walked toward the front of the store. Once he was out of earshot, the Scoobies huddled around the table.  
  
"Well, it seems we have a problem," Giles said.  
  
"Yeah," Spike agreed. "Stupid bugger knows too much."  
  
"Giles," Willow said. "If he starts telling other demons that he saw Buffy die...."  
  
"We certainly cannot count on other demons to misinterpret the situation," Giles said. "We'll need to...dispose...of Jinx."  
  
"That might not be so easy," Dawn warned. "These guys, they're strong."  
  
"I can take him," Spike said.  
  
"As I remember, last time they took you," Xander pointed out.  
  
"What if he runs?" Tara asked. "It's not enough to just try to kill him. We need to make sure he can't escape. These things...you can't underestimate them. T-t-they...they did...."  
  
Tara choked back a sob.  
  
"It's OK," Willow said, resting a reassuring hand on Tara's shoulder. "We'll take care of it. He won't get away."  
  
"Tara is correct, though," Giles said. "It is important that we include a strategy to contain Jinx, in conjuction with our attack."  
  
"And can we at least TRY to minimize the damage to the store?" Anya added.   
  
"Good point," Willow agreed. "I mean, we can't just keep trashing this place."  
  
"Alright, it's soldier-guy time," Xander said. "We'll need to cover the exits, then come at him with a flanking maneuver. If we can concentrate our attack...."  
  
"Who put you in charge?" Spike asked. "What are you going to do? Drop weapons 'til he trips on one?"  
  
"Spike, I have just about had it with...."  
  
"Can we please stay focused?" Willow interrupted.  
  
"She's right," Giles said. "We must keep our attention on the matter at hand. Glory's minions proved quite powerful in the past, so it will require all of us working together with a concentrated, disciplined...."  
  
"Excuse me," Jinx said, approaching the table. "I was just wondering if perhaps there was something I could...."  
  
"It's impolite to interrupt when people are talking," the Buffybot interjected. "Willow taught me that I should wait until other people stop talking before I say anything."  
  
"Oh, forgive me!" Jinx implored. "Of course, you are right, oh most perfect of beings! I beg your forgiveness!"  
  
Jinx grasped his robe with both hands and ripped open the fabric, exposing the pale, wrinkled flesh of his chest.  
  
"I implore you!" Jinx continued. "Please, tear out my heart for my impertinence!"  
  
The Scoobies exchanged glances. Willow looked at Giles and shrugged. Giles caught the Buffybot's attention, and nodded in Jinx's direction.  
  
Wordlessly, the Buffybot plunged her fist into Jinx's chest. Jinx choked in pain as the Buffybot pulled out her hand, holding a pink, throbbing heart in her grasp.  
  
"Thank...you," Jinx gasped as his body collapsed to the floor.  
  
"You're welcome!" the Buffybot replied.  
  
Jinx's body shuddered, then went limp.  
  
"Well, that wasn't so bad," Xander said. "I mean, it was easy. Gross, but easy."  
  
The Bot turned to Giles and extended the heart toward him.  
  
"Did you want this?" The Buffybot asked.  
  
"Well, yes," Giles said. "I mean, no. I don't want to actually...."  
  
"Um, Buffybot," Dawn said. "Could you not hold that over the table? Jinx's blood is getting all over my notes."  
  
"I am very sorry," the Buffybot said. "I will take this outside to...oh, it's disappearing! Nevermind."  
  
The Scoobies looked, and saw that in fact Jinx's heart was slowly fading into mist.  
  
"Well, that's odd," Tara observed.  
  
"Huh," Anya interjected. "I haven't seen anything like that since I saw a Migortha demon lose a hand during the Civil War."  
  
"Oh, I've heard of the Migortha," Giles said. "From what I remember they...well, their organs...."  
  
"Regenerate," Jinx completed, rising from the floor.  
  
The Scoobies stared in stunned silence.  
  
"Although, for my kind, it's not true regeneration," Jinx continued. "Not the way that, say, vampires regenerate. It's more of a mystical reassembly of cells."  
  
The Scoobies absorbed the sight of an apparently healed Jinx standing before them. Finally, Giles said:  
  
"So, tearing your heart from your body, it doesn't...harm you?"  
  
"Well, it's painful," Jinx said. "But it heals."  
  
"And other forms of physical damage?"  
  
"Also heal. It takes time, of course. I still feel a bit...achy. Not as bad as when Ben stabbed me, but that hit my liver. Livers take awhile."  
  
"Um, okay," Willow said. "So cutting won't kill you. What about other stuff? Like, let's say, oh, I dunno, burning. Would burning kill you? I mean, just out of curiosity."  
  
"No," Jinx said. "Burning's the same. I remember one occasion, Glory discovered that I had returned from a raid on a clothing store with a dress that was a size eight. She lit my legs on fire, and I had to hobble around on my knees for two days while I waited for my feet to grow back properly over the charred, blackened flesh."  
  
As the Scoobies shuddered and swallowed and gasped, Jinx sniffed back a tear, then wistfully added:  
  
"Good times."  
  
"Alright," Xander said. "What about...acid? Would acid kill you?"  
  
"No," Jinx replied.  
  
"Frost?" Tara asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Poison?" Anya suggested.  
  
"No."  
  
"Blunt trauma?" Giles proposed.  
  
"No."  
  
"Gettin' all the blood drank out of you?" Spike put forth.  
  
"No, and that actually is somewhat theraputic," Jinx said. "When the blood comes back, it's...well...cleansing. It filters out the toxins."  
  
"Oh, like they do to Keith Richards?" Xander asked.  
  
"Exactly," Jinx agreed.  
  
"So what's the big deal about Buffy coming back?" Dawn asked. "You came back. So what?"  
  
"Yeah," Anya said. "Why don't you go...well, worship yourself."  
  
"Oh, no," Jinx said. "That's just silly. The regeneration is simply how my body works. I am no god. Not like Buffy."  
  
"Er, well, yes," Giles said. "You obviously are...quite a creature. Perhaps we should allow you to serve as Buffy's minion. That way, we'll have you nearby."  
  
Giles glanced around the room, making sure the Scoobies understood his meaning. Once he'd determined from their faces that they had tacitly agreed on a plan, Giles continued:  
  
"Nearby, so that you can serve Buffy. You'll have the opportunity to worship your god, and we'll have the oppportunity to see you in action. That way, eventually we'll know how to deal with you. That is, how you can serve Buffy best."  
  
"A most splendid plan!" Jinx exclaimed.  
  
"Jinx, perhaps you could take Buffy to wash her hands. The rest of us have some research to do. Willow, you and Tara should start searching for information on the vampires we fought tonight. Check a map of the cemetery, and see if there are any reasons for the vampires to be there. Xander, you and Anya should start researching our other...problem."  
  
"I would be most happy to assist her most esteemed worship in cleaning the blood of my foul heart from her delicate yet strong hands," Jinx said. "Please, do not let the thought of my vile blood on the hands of the beautiful one distract you from your investigation of the tomb of Iparthus."  
  
"Wait a minute," Xander said. "You know what those vamps were looking for?"  
  
"Oh, yes," Jinx said. "I heard them speaking before you arrived. They were discussing their search for the Talisman of Iparthus for a good twenty minutes, before the most magnificant Buffy dispatched two of the unworthy creatures."  
  
"W-w-well, Jinx," Giles said. "That's quite a...surprising bit of news. Perhaps Dawn could help Buffy clean up. We may need you for...other things."  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
Author's note: Many thanks to Estepheia for all of her input. 


	3. Part II The Ways Deep and the Weather S...

Part II - The Ways Deep and the Weather Sharp  
  
  
"How do we even know they'll show?"  
  
"We don't, Xander," Giles whispered as he, Xander, Anya and Tara crouched behind a hedge. "But we know that this is the tomb of Iparthus, and if these vampires are looking for it, they're bound to turn up sooner or later."  
  
"Well, it's been two nights, and so far, nothing," Xander complained. "Meanwhile, there are a lot of other places we could be patrolling."  
  
"He's got a point," Anya said. "How do we know this talisman is even worth it?"  
  
"The undead don't organize simply to go antiquing," Giles said.   
  
"Where's Willow?" Xander asked. "I can't see her."  
  
"You're not supposed to see her, Xander," Giles said. "Hence the crouching. She's on the other side of the tomb, with Jinx. With us covering the sides, Spike and the Buffybot should be able to handle anything that comes from the front."  
  
"I don't like leaving Willow alone with that...thing."  
  
"She'll be fine," Tara said. "Besides, it was her idea. She figures that we can cover more ground magic-wise if we each cover one side of the mausoleum. She's got Jinx with her for muscle."  
  
"Speaking of our latest compatriot," Giles said. "How is the research on him progressing?"  
  
"Nothing solid," Xander admitted. "There wasn't much on Glory, and her minions didn't get a whole lot of press, either. So far, nothing on how to kill them."  
  
"I tried to get some information out of him," Anya added. "But he hasn't mentioned anything helpful. I'll tell you something: Glory did just about everything you can think of to her minions. Dismemberment, branding, beating, you name it. We were talking about this one guy I cursed back during the 'Frisco gold rush. I buried him in giant gold nuggets. Well, Jinx told me that Glory once crushed a minion under an entire...."  
  
"Wait a minute," Xander said. "You compared notes?"  
  
"Well, sort of," Anya said. "I mean, we were coming at it from different angles, me with the inflicting and him with the suffering. But I've never really had a chance to chat with someone who's been on the receiving end. Gives you a whole new perspective, really. Did you know that, if you stick a hot poker into a guy, it actually hurts more when you pull it OUT? See, I always thought that the searing metal would kill the nerve endings after awhile, but as it turns out...."  
  
Giles sighed as Xander began to argue the ethics of torture shop talk with Anya.  
  
Behind a bush on the other side of the tomb, Willow sat with her legs crossed. Her eyes were closed as she muttered an incantation under her breath.  
  
"I'm not sure I approve of this strategy," Jinx said. "I feel that I should be at Buffy's side, protecting her most wonderful...."  
  
"Shut up," Willow admonished. "I'm trying to do a spell to search for the vampires. Besides, Buffy wants it this way."  
  
"Oh, of course! I did not mean to suggest that my own wretched thoughts are worthy of consideration by Her Greatness. Please, take one of these twigs and shove it down my most ignoble throat for daring to...."  
  
"No! Ick! Jeez, what's with you? Cut it out with the mutilation offers, already."  
  
"I apologize," Jinx said. "I only meant...well, it has been a...difficult adjustment. Her Splendor and her followers have...strange ways of working."  
  
"What? We're not trying to kill and destroy as much as you're used to?"  
  
"Well, that's part of it. But there's so much argument. It seems that no one can ever agree on a clear course of action."  
  
"We're not like Glory," Willow said. "We're a team. We work together."  
  
"But with no leadership? I remember how Glory marvelled at the Slayer's focus, her ability to marshal forces to her aid. I must admit, I do not yet understand how she was able to do so without taking command."  
  
"Well, she did," Willow said. "Take command, I mean. But now...well, Giles takes care of most of that now."  
  
"Really? He doesn't seem to."  
  
"Well, he directs the research. The outside stuff...um, we're still working out a system."  
  
"A system," Jinx repeated. "Interesting."  
  
"I'll admit we've been a little...well, everyone does argue a lot over what to do."  
  
"I have noticed," Jinx said. "It reminds me of what happened right after Glory disappeared."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Oh, my, yes. While Glory led us, we were a force of greatness. Once she was gone, there was nothing but confusion and dissension. Eventually, we all went our separate ways. It was impossible for us to stay together in such a state."  
  
"Huh. You know, that is kind of like what happened when Buffy died."  
  
"You must be happy to have her back, then. Now, she can lead you again."  
  
"Um...yeah."  
  
A silence passed, until Willow said:  
  
"Hey, Jinx? Can you keep a secret?"  
  
"Not from the Most Perfect One."  
  
"No, no, not from her," Willow said. "Tell her whatever you want. But, I mean, from the others?"  
  
"Oh, the other minions do not concern me."  
  
"Uh, right. Listen, there's this...project...we're working on. And it's REALLY important that everything goes right. That's the kind of thing where it would be okay to take charge, wouldn't it?"  
  
"Have the others agreed as to a leader?"  
  
"Yeah, actually, they picked me. It was kind of touching, really. I mean, I was so excited I just hugged the plaque, and I still haven't been able to get all of the glitter out of my sweater, but...well, I've been trying to just keep it business as usual."  
  
"The others selected you to be their leader?" Jinx asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"So, they feel that they need a leader?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Well, if you do not lead them, who will?"  
  
"Hmm," Willow said. "I never thought of it like...hey, wait! Keep it down, someone's coming."  
  
Willow and Jinx crouched lower as footsteps rustled by. Willow peeked up, and saw six vampires walk down the path toward the tomb, one in the lead as the others followed.  
  
"This had BETTER be it," the lead vamp grumbled.  
  
"It is," another vamp replied. "This time, it's for sure."  
  
"You've been saying that for a week," the leader shot back. "And we've got nothing to show for it but a bunch of worthless trinkets."  
  
The group stopped at the entrance to the mausoleum. The leader snapped his fingers, and two of the vamps ran to the double doors. Each grabbed a handle, and pulled the doors open.  
  
"Alright," the leader growled. "Let's see what's inside."  
  
"Knock, knock!" a feminine voice called from inside the mausoleum.  
  
The vamps exchanged puzzled glances.  
  
"Oh, no," Willow muttered under her breath.  
  
The Buffybot walked out of the tomb and said:  
  
"You're supposed to say 'Who's there?' That's how it works!"  
  
"Slayer!" the lead vamp shouted. He turned to run, but saw that the Scoobies had surrounded the group.   
  
Spike emerged from the mausoleum. He morphed into vampface, and said:  
  
"You might want to come quietly, mates. We've business to discuss."  
  
The vamp leader's eyes narrowed. All of the Scoobies stood ready to act. He searched their eyes, and noticed a fierceness in all of them...except for Tara. He saw no fierceness in Tara's eyes. There was resolve, and courage, but no fierceness.  
  
The leader slowly began to raise his hands, and his companions followed suit. Then, seeing a moment of relief in Tara's eyes, he leapt toward her.  
  
"Ancile!" Tara gasped, staggering backward.  
  
A pale green circle of energy materialized before Tara. The leader ran into the mystical shield, grunting from the force of the impact against his body. He fell to the ground, disoriented.  
  
Tara concentrated on maintaining the shield between her and the vampire, but before the rest of the Scoobies could react, the other vampires sprang at Tara from either side, outside of the protection of the magical barrier. Outnumbered and surrounded, the vampires realized that overcoming one of their attackers was the only hope they had of creating an escape route. Xander grabbed one of the approaching vamps before it could reach Tara, while Anya smacked the vampire about the head with a baseball bat. Another disintegrated as Giles fired a crossbow bolt into its chest.  
  
But a third vampire slipped by.  
  
The magic shield dissipated as the vampire wrestled Tara to the ground. She screamed as the vampire bared his fangs, ready to strike.  
  
"Tara!" Willow cried. Her hand dropped to her side, and then shot forward as she shouted:  
  
"Fulgor!"  
  
Sparks flew from Willow's fingers as a blue bolt of electricity arced from her open palm and struck the vampire between the shoulder blades. The vamp screamed, paralyzed by fear and pain and shock. His denim jacket sparked into flame as he collapsed on top of Tara. The flames engulfed the vampire, until he disintegrated. Giles ran to Tara's side, throwing his jacket over Tara to smother any fire that might have remained.  
  
Willow surveyed the scene. Anya had drawn a stake from her pocket, and was plunging it into the chest of the vamp in Xander's grasp. Spike was pummelling a vampire he'd wrestled to the ground, and the Buffybot had kicked another against a tree, and was beating him into submission with a series of blows to the face. Jinx ran to the Bot's side and began punching the vamp in the ribs.  
  
That left the leader, who had taken advantage of the confusion, and was now running at full speed toward the woods.   
  
"Willow!" Giles called. "Are you...?"  
  
"We need one alive," Willow growled, taking a few steps forward before screaming:  
  
"Conglacio!"  
  
A white wind burst out of Willow's mouth, sending a narrow cone of frost at the fleeing vampire. Only steps away from the forest's edge, he froze, literally, in his tracks as a thick coat of ice covered his torso and legs. He fell to the ground, flailing his arms in vain.  
  
"Got him?" Spike asked, staking the vamp beneath him.  
  
"Got him," Willow muttered.  
  
"My turn!" The Buffybot exclaimed, tearing a branch from a nearby tree and staking the vamp in her grasp.   
  
"A most splendid dispatching, my goddess!" Jinx exclaimed.  
  
"Thank you!" The Buffybot replied. "I really made my POINT!"  
  
"Tara!" Xander exclaimed, turning to face her and Giles.  
  
"I'm fine," Tara said, struggling to sit up. "He caught me off guard, but I'm fine. My clothes smell like pool hall, but other than that, I'm okay."  
  
Willow forced her her fisted hands to open, took a series of slow, deliberate breaths, then said:  
  
"Let's find out what was so important."  
  
She stormed off past the Scoobies, in the direction of the fallen vampire. Giles stared at Willow, then made eye contact with Tara. There was fear in Tara's eyes, a fear that had nothing to do with her near miss with her attacker. Tara swallowed hard. She said:  
  
"Look, I'm fine. G-g-g-go help Willow."  
  
Giles slowly rose to his feet, and then turned to catch up with Willow, gesturing for the others to follow.  
  
"Hell of a trick from Red," Spike said, crouching beside Tara as Giles, Xander and Anya went after Willow. "I'm glad I wasn't anywhere near when that hit."  
  
"You mean like Tara?" the Buffybot asked.  
  
Spike tried to think of a way to answer that, but before he could, Tara said:  
  
"She saved me. She had control. She wouldn't have done the spell if she didn't have control."  
  
Spike turned to Tara to reply, but noticed that Tara hadn't been looking at him, or at anyone. Her eyes stared into the endless darkness beyond the graveyard.  
  
At the edge of the cemetery, the vampire clawed at the ice that surrounded his legs. Small chips flew into the air, but he was nowhere near freeing himself as Willow approached, scowling down upon him.  
  
"Alright," Willow hissed. "Talk."  
  
"Screw you," the vampire mumbled.  
  
"Confringo," Willow uttered.  
  
The vampire wailed as he felt a sudden pressure surround the index finger of his left hand, forcing it backwards until the bone snapped.  
  
"Talk," Willow repeated.  
  
"I don't know anything," the vampire gasped through clenched teeth.  
  
"Confringo," Willow said again.  
  
This time the vampire's thumb twisted until the bone shattered. He screamed as Giles, Xander, Anya and Spike arrived at Willow's side.  
  
"She's crazy!" The Vamp exclaimed. "Make her stop!"  
  
Willow fell to her knees, grasped the vampire's shirt and growled:  
  
"The only one who can make me stop is you. Now, what were you looking for, and who sent you to look?"  
  
The vampire trembled in Willow's clutches. Finally, he said:  
  
"Look, it's called The Medallion of Reynaal. A guy hired us to find it. He called himself Orad. He's a Prythh demon. I swear, that's all I know!"  
  
Willow released her grip on the vampire's shirt, arose, and said:  
  
"Stake him."  
  
Willow turned and began walking back toward the tomb.  
  
Giles, Xander and Anya exchanged uneasy glances, then Giles drew a stake from his pocket and drove it into the heart of the vampire, leaving nothing but a dusty mist and an icy mold of the vampire's lower body.  
  
The three of them turned and trotted to catch up with Willow.  
  
"Uh, good job with the interrogation," Xander said. "I mean, it was a little extreme, but...."  
  
"I didn't do anything Buffy wouldn't have done," Willow said, no hint of emotion in her voice.  
  
"She's right," Anya agreed. "Buffy never hesitated to play rough with the vampires. Did that come out more sexual than I intended?"  
  
"I certainly would hope so," Giles said.  
  
"What are the rest doing?" Willow asked.  
  
"Spike's with Tara," Xander replied. "She's OK. She just needs to catch her breath."  
  
"And I think Jinx is paying the Buffybot more compliments," Anya said.   
  
"Well, we got what we needed," Xander said. "We know what we're looking for, and who's looking to get it first. All in all, I'd say we did a pretty good...."  
  
"Pretty good?!" Willow shouted, stopping and turning to face the others. "We're blowing it!"  
  
"Will, calm down," Xander said. "Look, the plan was to get a couple of the vamps trapped in the mausoleum, split up the group, make them easier to take down. Sure, the Bot had a little glitch, but eventually...."  
  
"Eventually one of us is going to end up dead!" Willow interrupted. "And it's not just the Buffybot! I've had it! I've had it with Giles burying his nose in a book every time something gets tough. I've had it with Anya following you around like a puppy dog. And God knows I've had it with you and Spike arguing. The Tracy-Hepburn routine you two have going on? Not funny anymore! The vampires are better organized than we are! Something's gotta change!"  
  
Willow turned and stormed off toward the mausoleum.  
  
"Well, that was judgmental and aggressive," Anya observed.  
  
"She's upset," Xander said. "Tara got hurt, and she's upset."  
  
"I was upset when you sprained your wrist," Anya said. "And I didn't scream and carry on. When you got hurt it was scary, and distressful, and it was your good foreplay hand, but I managed to keep a civil tongue."  
  
"I think Xander's right about Willow," Giles said. "And while she may not have been as...eloquent as we may have liked, Willow has a valid point. We do need to work on our focus."  
  
"I think we're doing splendidly," Anya said. "Especially given that we're suddenly Slayer-less. And I hate to be the one to say it, but things have never been easy, even when Buffy was alive."  
  
"Ahn," Xander sighed.  
  
"Well, it's true," Anya said. "I know it hurts everyone to think that Buffy wasn't perfect, but she wasn't. Sure, the demon slaying was easier, but even when she was alive, we all argued and screwed up, and Buffy argued and screwed up right along with us. I miss her. I really do. But we can't beat ourselves up because we can't be Slayers, and Willow was way out of line."  
  
"Willow's always been...well, gifted," Giles observed. "Her studies, her computer work, her witchcraft...she always managed to excel, and much more quickly than others. Impatience is a common character trait for overachievers. It's natural for someone who's used to seeing difficult enterprises come easily to become frustrated when other things, well, don't."  
  
"She'll be fine," Xander said. "We're all adjusting. Just give her time."  
  
The three walked the rest of the way back to the tomb in silence.  
  
  
TBC  
Author's note: Thanks to abbylee for her input. 


	4. Part III And the Villages Dirty, and Ch...

Part III - And the Villages Dirty, and Charging High Prices  
  
  
"Are you sure you don't want me along?" Xander asked, as Giles lifted a pair of stakes off the table and tucked them in his jacket pocket.  
  
"It's been two weeks, Xander," Giles answered. "There have been no signs of any vampires searching for the Medallion. Odds are they're researching, and we should do the same. Spike and I will patrol. You and Anya should continue to look for any information regarding the Medallion's location. Between your research here, and Willow searching the internet at home, we should make more progress than by randomly patrolling the cemeteries."  
  
"Yeah, besides," Spike said, lifting his duster from the Magic Box counter. "We'll cover more ground on our own. Don't worry, Harris. If we cross any vampires that need sanding or molding, we'll ring."  
  
"Fine," Xander replied. "And we'll call you if we need...um, Spike? Do you think our little Tracy-Hepburn routine is getting old?"  
  
Spike scowled. "So, what? Now you want to join a book club together? Grab 'brewskies' and brag about the birds we've shagged?"  
  
Xander returned Spike's scowl. "Well, as much as I'd LOVE to hear Drusilla and Harmony stories, I think I'll pass. Sorry, but I don't think there's enough alcohol in the world to make that bearable."  
  
"That's better," Spike said. "You had me worried for a minute. Thought you might finally be getting in touch with that feminine side that keeps popping out when you try to use a weapon more lethal than a rubber band."  
  
"You know, Spike? Maybe you...."  
  
"Oh, no," Giles sighed. "That hasn't grown at all tiresome."  
  
"You should have heard them during inventory last month," Anya said, looking up from the book she'd been reading at the table. "They were going at it worse than Mary and Abe Lincoln arguing about postwar Reconstruction."  
  
Giles blinked, then said:  
  
"That's a rather obscure historical refer...Anya? Are you saying that...?"  
  
"Giles," Xander interrupted. "I've heard this story, and trust me, you so don't want to know."  
  
"No, I suspect I don't," Giles agreed. "Lock up when you're finished."  
  
Spike followed Giles to the door. The pair exited. Xander and Anya exchanged glances, then Xander walked up to the front window, looking up and down the street.  
  
"They're gone," Xander said. "The coast's clear."  
  
Anya reached down underneath the table and grabbed a dark leather bag. She opened it, and pulled out Willow's laptop.  
  
"Have I mentioned I really hate lying to Giles about this?" Xander said as he walked over to the bookcase behind Anya and grabbed the end of a computer cord that rested on a low shelf.  
  
"I'm not crazy about it either," Anya replied, reaching out her hand and taking the cord from Xander. She plugged the cord into the side port of the laptop, lifted the screen open, and hit the power button. With her other hand, she clasped Xander's palm, pulling him close.   
  
"You sure you know your way around this computer stuff?" Xander asked, resting his hands on Anya's shoulders and gently massaging the muscles of her neck.  
  
"Oh, please," Anya said. "I bought Lexmark at twenty-nine dollars a share. A couple of good double clicks on E*Trade, and I'll be able to pay for our honeymoon. Assuming, of course, we ever have a wedding."  
  
Xander's hands suddenly became motionless.  
  
"Ahn, we've talked about this," Xander sighed. "Things are just too crazy right now."  
  
"Whatever," Anya said. "Anyway, I should be able to find some magic urn. If it still exists, that is. It may take some time, though. P-E ratios and mandrake bargains, that I'm good at. The really deep, dark stuff, that's more Willow's territory."  
  
"Willow's been looking for a month," Xander said. "And so far, nothing. Tara's not good with the internet, and Willow thought a second set of eyes might help. Besides, back at the house there's too much of a risk Dawn might see what she's up to."  
  
"I'll just be glad when this is done," Anya said. "We bring Buffy back, then she can slay the demons. That way, Willow doesn't have to be bossy and frightening, and we can get our sex life back on schedule, without any excuses about late night patrolling or restrictive injuries."  
  
Xander stood stunned for a moment, then said:  
  
"Alright, I can think of about twelve things in that sentence that just scare the living...."  
  
Before Xander could finish, the bell at the Magic Box door rang. Anya and Xander both gasped. Anya quickly closed the laptop screen, hoping that Giles and Spike had not returned early. The pair looked toward the door, then both breathed a sigh of relief as they saw Jinx standing at the entrance.  
  
"Oh, it's you," Xander sneered. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Willow, at the direction of Her Most Complete Perfection, asked that I bring this tome for your examination," Jinx explained, walking to the table and handing Anya a thin, dusty book.  
  
"Oh, yes," Anya replied, glancing at the cover. "The McConnell Journal. He lived with Prythh demons for six years. He was like Dian Fossey. Granted, Dian Fossey never threw goats into a volcano to summon weather spirits, but no metaphor is perfect."  
  
"That may help with the Medallion," Xander said.  
  
"Probably not," Anya said. "There's not much to the Prythh. They're kind of purple. Strong, but not that strong. Less than vampire strong, actually. They're pretty smart, though. This Orad creature probably just wants it because he wants it."  
  
"Worth checking anyway," Xander said. "Alright, Jinx. You can leave."  
  
"Well...perhaps there is something more I can do here," Jinx offered.  
  
"That's alright," Xander said sarcastically. "If we need anybody to kidnap us for an evil god, we'll page you."  
  
"Surely there must be something I can do," Jinx implored.  
  
"Shouldn't you be off doting on Buffy?" Anya asked.  
  
"Well, I was," Jinx said. "But I am not sure that I have been of much use to her this evening. The Almighty Goddess seems to be...frustrated...by my inability to help her with a form of humor that occupies the majority of her attention. It seems, if I understand the premise, that one party to the witticism pretends to be at a closed door, while the other pretends to knock at the door, not by pantomiming a knocking motion, but rather by exclaiming...."  
  
"Say no more," Xander interrupted. "We get it."  
  
"You know," Anya said, turning to Xander. "He could help you move those boxes of S'Nithar bones that came in yesterday. We really should get those put away until Kaagora's Solstice. No one's going to want them until the fertility rituals."  
  
"Ahn," Xander said. "We've discussed this."  
  
"Would you rather he went back to the Summers' house?" Anya asked. "Spend some quality time with 'Buffy,' getting to know her better?"  
  
Xander's jaw clenched as he absorbed this. Anya was right. The less time Jinx spent with the Buffybot, the less chance he would find out his goddess was a walking, talking lawn mower.  
  
"Alright," Xander sighed. "Jinx, I'll meet you down in the basement."  
  
Jinx smiled, then walked to the basement door, opened it, and descended the stairway. When the door had closed behind Jinx, Xander said:  
  
"Anya, I don't like having that...thing here."  
  
"Well, we're stuck with him," Anya replied, lifting the screen on the laptop. "At least until we can figure out how to get rid of him."  
  
"Maybe," Xander said. "It would just be a lot easier if the 'Bot was a little more convincing. I mean, we needed to do something, but the knock-knock jokes and pie pan metaphors aren't going to keep the demons from figuring out that Buffy isn't her normal, quippy self."  
  
"I really wish Willow would get that out of the Buffybot's system," Anya complained. "That book we gave her on the history of American humor really isn't helping with the battlefield wisecracks."  
  
"It could be worse," Xander replied. "Remember the time she saw that Gallagher special on the comedy channel?"  
  
"Don't remind me," Anya said. "Thank god we finally sold the Troll Hammer to that collector from Phoenix. I don't think the grocery store would be very happy if they got another visit from a super-strong blonde girl smashing the produce and yelling 'It's the All New Sledge-o-Matic!' I never did get the watermelon stains out of my blouse."  
  
"Well, Willow seems to think it'll work itself out," Xander said.   
  
"Why doesn't she just make it stop?" Anya asked. "Flip the humor switch to 'off' or something?"  
  
"I asked," Xander responded. "She said it's not that simple. It took Willow a month just to get the 'Spike-is-sexy' comments down to once a week. Whatever software that Warren guy used to program the 'Bot, it's pretty complicated, and Willow doesn't have the original code to completely know how her mind works. Apparently she's designed to absorb whatever stuff she sees or hears, then the information gets all scrambled through the whole system. So, once she gets an idea in her head, it's pretty much stuck."  
  
"Great," Anya groaned. "So if she sees an episode of 'The Sopranos,' I guess we can all look forward to getting whacked."  
  
"Shouldn't be a problem," Xander said. "First, they don't get HBO. Second, Willow said she made one of those...things...um...where you copy everything?"  
  
"A backup?"  
  
"Yeah, that's it. After the jokes got out of hand, Willow plugged the Buffybot into something and duplicated all of her stuff. That way, if the 'Bot starts in on something else, we can just put her back the way she was."  
  
"Speaking of bringing back Buffy," Anya said. "I check my email. None of our major suppliers have any leads on the urn. I'm still waiting from my guy in Madrid, but if he doesn't know anything, we're pretty much out of luck."  
  
"Well, keep at it," Xander said. "I'd better go check on our new stock boy."  
  
"Have fun," Anya called, as Xander opened the door to the basement and started down the stairs.  
  
Xander descended into the basement. He had no expectation that he would 'have fun,' but the subject of Buffy's possible return had arisen again, and he did not want to continue the conversation with Anya where it had left off before Jinx's arrival. Of course, Xander knew that avoiding the discussion did not amount to a resolution, but...well, the boxes weren't going to move themselves.  
  
As he reached the bottom of the stairs, Xander saw Jinx standing before the boxes, his hands folded before him.  
  
"We need to get these against the back wall," Xander said, brushing against Jinx as he walked past him, lifting the first box.  
  
"As you wish," Jinx agreed, stooping to pick up another of the boxes. "I am just pleased to be assisting Her Most Delightful and her minions."  
  
"Friends," Xander corrected, dropping his box against the wall. "Among us non-murderous types, we prefer 'friends.' We're funny that way."  
  
"That's fine," Jinx said, depositing his own box on top of Xander's. "Whatever pleases The Everlasting One."  
  
"Look, Jinx," Xander said. "Doesn't this seem...screwy to you? I mean, you help Glory do all that evil stuff, now you help Buffy fight evil. You see where I'm going with this?"  
  
"Oh, the purpose is of no consequence," Jinx replied, lifting another box. "My adoration is for a much more noble end."  
  
"And that would be?"  
  
"For love," Jinx proclaimed.  
  
Xander paused, not expecting that response. Finally, he said:  
  
"For love? I mean, you think that Buffy loves you?"  
  
"I love her," Jinx shrugged, placing the box in his arms beside the first two. "And she allows me to shower my devotion upon her. What more could I ask? My Goddess honors me by allowing a loathsome wretch such as myself to serve her. I attended to Glory in return for that honor, and now I have that privilege with Buffy."  
  
"Huh," Xander grunted. "So, the way you see it, loving...I mean...worshipping someone means putting up with the bad stuff? I mean, you just count your blessings?"  
  
"Precisely," Jinx said. "For example, Glory would often send us to steal clothes on her behalf. On one occasion, I hurled my body through the glass window of a small boutique, and the glass shards buried themselves in my eyes. But it was worth it, just to see the look on her face when I returned with a blue Chanel suit that flattered her most perfect figure."  
  
"How did you see her face with glass shards in your eyes?"  
  
"Well, I had to squint."  
  
"Hey, Jinx," Xander said, lowering his voice and leaning forward. "Did Glory ever send you out to get...feminine...stuff?"  
  
"Well," Jinx said. "Glory did insist that any dresses we purloined required a decolletage to flatter her...."  
  
"No, no, no," Xander interrupted. "I mean...you know what I mean. FEMININE stuff. You know...like...tampons?"  
  
"Oh," Jinx said. "Well, Glory's hormonal changes were...well...of a...supernatural nature."  
  
"I hear ya, man," Xander said. "I hate it when Anya sends me out for that stuff. And she always asks like it's nothing. 'Oh, you're going to put gas in the car? Pick up some tampons while you're out.' Like one has anything to do with the other."  
  
"Um, Glory did not have an automobile, so...."  
  
"So you swing by the grocery store," Xander continued. "And, of course, it's a girl at the checkout. She scans the price, and they always give you this look. Why the look? I mean, it's one thing if you're buying panty hose, because, hey, possible transvestite. But why the look when you're buying tampons? They KNOW you're buying them for your girlfriend! Heck, they have boyfriends. They send THEIR boyfriends out to by tampons. What's with the look?"  
  
"I...I...I do not know the answer to that."  
  
"God's own mystery," Xander said.   
  
"I do not claim to know the reasons behind the choices of the Divine Ones," Jinx said. "I simply bask in the glow of their most holy attention."  
  
"Yeah," Xander sighed. He turned to get another box, then looked at Jinx and said:  
  
"Hey, Jinx? Did you ever wonder what would happen if, maybe, as time went on, you just couldn't take it? If maybe love wouldn't be enough? I mean, sure, you can figure it all out, add it all up, and know that you're a really lucky guy. But, what if, years down the road, all the little stuff starts piling up and you find yourself just tired and angry and sitting on the couch drinking yourself numb and just dreading every moment and...well, did you ever wonder?"  
  
"Well, no," Jinx replied. "I cherish every moment that My Goddess gives me. I can think of no time that her attention would bring me anything but joy."  
  
"Uh, yeah," Xander muttered. "Me neither."  
  
Xander leaned against the stack of boxes, staring at the ground. Then he looked up, and said:  
  
"Um, look, Jinx, maybe you should go upstairs and see if Anya needs your help. I just need...um, I mean, I can finish up down here."  
  
"If you wish," Jinx said. He turned and walked toward the stairs.  
  
"Hey, Jinx," Xander called.  
  
Jinx paused at the foot of the stairs.  
  
"Um," Xander started. "Look, sorry about...I mean, thanks for...well, nice job with the boxes."  
  
Jinx smiled, then ascended the stairs.  
  
Upstairs, Jinx found Anya sitting at the table, smiling, with a bemused look on her face as she stared at the laptop screen.  
  
"I was instructed to see if you required any assistance," Jinx stated as he reached the table.  
  
"Nah," Anya responded. "I'm just taking a break. I found some stuff on that medallion. Most of it is in some weird language I've never seen before."   
  
Anya gestured toward a small printer she had set up beside the laptop. Several printed pages were piled beside it. Jinx looked at the top page, which had a black-and-white picture of an inscribed disk printed in the upper right corner. Lines of text in a vaguely Arabic alphabet surrounded the picture.  
  
"The language is unfamiliar to me as well," Jinx said.  
  
"Eh, no big," Anya said. "That's what Willow and Giles are for. Hey, Jinx? What do you think of this? Do you think three thousand dollars is too expensive?"  
  
Anya pivoted the laptop so that the screen faced Jinx. He looked at the web page, which showed a young woman wearing a flowing white bridal gown.  
  
"Well, she is a lovely creature," Jinx said. "But it was my understanding that human slavery had been abolished."  
  
"The dress, not the girl," Anya explained. "And yes, slavery has been abolished, most places. Here for about a hundred odd years. Of course, they fought a big war over it, and there was this one couple that...well, anyway. What do you think of the dress?"  
  
"It is very flattering."  
  
"I'll say," Anya sighed. "But it's a little out of my price range. I mean, right now it's only at about two grand, but there's six hours left before the bidding closes, and with the normal retail price...well, anyway, no sense getting my hopes up. There's no room on E-Bay for the sentimental."  
  
"Is there an occasion approaching that requires you to have such a dress? Perhaps some feast day in honor of Buffy?"  
  
"Not everything has to do with Buffy," Anya grumbled. "At least, that's MY lonely opinion. Sometimes, I wish...whoa! Can't say that. You'd think I'd know better. No wonder I had such an easy time of it."  
  
Jinx stood in silence, finding himself, yet again, uncertain of a proper response.   
  
"Have you ever been married, Jinx?" Anya asked.  
  
"Oh, no," Jinx said. "Serving Glorificus required total devotion."  
  
"C'mon," Anya said. "I mean, even minions have needs."  
  
"We require food and clothing, like most creatures," Jinx agreed.  
  
"No, needs," Anya said. "You know? Neeeeeeeeeds? Sexual needs?"  
  
"Oh, yes," Jinx said. "Ahem, well, the ecstasy from Glory's attention was more than enough to satisfy my...."  
  
"So you and Glory had sex?"  
  
"Oh, Heaven's no!" Jinx exclaimed. "Glory would never lower herself to couple with a minion!"  
  
"Well, then," Anya said. "You couldn't have spent every moment serving Glory."  
  
Jinx drew a deep breath, made a cautionary glance over his shoulder, then leaned forward and whispered:  
  
"There was a fellow minion whose...company...I kept."  
  
"Neat," Anya giggled, leaning toward Jinx.  
  
"Her name was Reeks," Jinx said.   
  
"Oh, how...pretty."  
  
"A lovelier creature you have never seen," Jinx sighed. "She had the most exquisite valleys in the skin of her face."  
  
"Well, not to brag, but back when I was...oh, sorry. You were saying?"  
  
"We would often steal away in the wee hours of the morning, as Glory slept," Jinx continued in a hushed tone. "We would lay on the roof, holding each other as we stared at the stars."  
  
"How romantic," Anya said. "Um, Jinx? Why are you whispering?"  
  
"Oh, I am sorry," Jinx said. "Force of habit. Reeks and I went to great pains to keep the nature of our relationship a secret."  
  
Anya sat straight up. "Oh, you...I mean, the two of you agreed not to tell anyone?"  
  
"Yes, both of us," Jinx answered. "Both. It was a joint decision. Between the two of us. We were in absolute agreement."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Well, truth be told, it was Reeks who was rather...adamant about concealing our relationship. She felt that, for the good of our service to Glory, it would be best if no one knew."  
  
"But you weren't so sure?"  
  
"I...I thought that perhaps...Glory never specifically prohibited her minions from having relations with each other. But Reeks thought it would dishonor Glory if we were to even suggest that our attention was even slightly diverted from Glory's endeavors."  
  
"Hmm," Anya said, her face falling slightly. "So, where is Reeks now?"  
  
"I do not know," Jinx said. "After Glory disappeared, we of course hoped that she would someday return. When it became obvious that Glory had abandoned us, Reeks became depressed. She said she needed time. I suggested that perhaps we should seek a new god together, but there was only one god for Reeks. One day she just...left. I have not seen her since."  
  
"I'm sorry," Anya said quietly. "That must have been awful."  
  
"I certainly understood her feelings," Jinx said. "I was as distraught as any when we lost Glory. But, still, I had hoped that Reeks' feelings for me would be enough to...."  
  
Jinx swallowed, then took a forced breath.  
  
"Hey, Jinx," Anya said, leaning forward. This time, it was Anya's voice that dropped to a whisper. "Did you ever wonder if maybe...well, if maybe Reeks kept everything secret for another reason? Like, maybe it just wasn't out of respect for Glory? Maybe he...I mean, maybe SHE kept it quiet so she could get out of it? Maybe she just wasn't sure about the two of you?"  
  
"I have thought that," Jinx admitted. "Of course, if she did feel that way, it would be understandable. We did not lead normal lives. I had seen many minions try to maintain relationships with each other. None were successful. I often laughed at them, called them fools for believing that they could succeed where so many others had failed. Still, I had hoped that Reeks and I were...different."  
  
"Yeah, I get that. Between you and me, sometimes I...."  
  
Anya was interrupted by a sharp 'beep' from the laptop. She turned the screen toward her, and guided the cursor to the new window with the touchpad.  
  
"A development?" Jinx inquired.  
  
"Nah," Anya said, clicking on icons. "Willow wrote a program for us that automatically monitors websites that sell things, in case any of the stuff might be magic. Someone probably just put some wolfsbane up for bid at a discount below the going rate of...."  
  
Anya's voice trailed off as she absorbed the image before her. Her eyes widened. She jumped up out of her chair and screamed:  
  
"Holy copulation! That's it!"  
  
Jinx stared in stunned silence as he heard pounding footsteps coming up the basement stairs. The door to the basement flew open, and Xander rushed to Anya's side.  
  
"What's wrong!?" Xander asked. "Did something...?"  
  
"I found it!" Anya exclaimed.   
  
"What? The medallion?"  
  
"No, I found IT!" Anya repeated, pointing frantically at the screen.  
  
"Huh?" Xander said, leaning down toward the screen. He read a few lines of text, then gasped:  
  
"Oh, my god! A-a-are you sure that's it? I mean, it looks like a flower pot."  
  
"Move," Anya said, shouldering Xander out of the way. After a couple of clicks, the printer on the table hummed and whined. A sheet of paper began a slow descent into the printer.  
  
"I bookmarked the page," Anya said, trying to catch her breath. "We'll need Willow to be sure, but I'm pretty sure...wow! After just one night! Yay, me!"  
  
Xander threw his arms around Anya, lifted her into the air, and kissed her full on the mouth. He released her, and playfully growled:  
  
"You know, computer savvy women are such a turn on!"  
  
Anya scowled. "Xander! I'm the one who found the urn! And she's been gay for over...oh, you mean me!"  
  
"Has something good happened?" Jinx wondered.  
  
"You bet it has," Xander said. "Real good. The best thing ever. It's a secret, though. That is, Buffy said to keep it a secret."  
  
"So Buffy will be pleased?" Jinx asked.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Xander said. "I think this'll make her happier than she's ever been. Everything will be perfect."  
  
"Here," Anya said, releasing herself from Xander's grasp and grabbing the printed sheet from the paper tray along with the information on the medallion. "Take these to Willow. Tell her it's VERY important that she call us at home tonight and let us know whether we should keep going. Remember, only give these to WILLOW!"  
  
"Of course," Jinx said, taking the papers from Anya.  
  
"Quickly," Anya said. "There aren't any bids yet. Our only real chance is to make a deal privately."  
  
"Are you sure we can get it?" Xander asked.  
  
"Are you kidding me?" Anya shot back. "It's pre-bid! We can go to him directly. Once we start negotiating I'll have him begging to sell it. I'll be throwing deals at him that'll knock him on his sandy gnome ass!"  
  
"That's my girl," Xander said, throwing an arm around Anya's shoulder.  
  
Xander and Anya gazed lovingly into each other's eyes. Anya rested her head against Xander's chest, then realized that Jinx was still standing before them.  
  
"You," Anya said. "Go now. We need to celebrate naked. Move it."  
  
"Oh, yes," Jinx said. "As you command."  
  
Jinx turned and hurried out of the shop.  
  
"You think we can trust him to keep it close to the vest?" Anya asked.  
  
"Yeah," Xander said. "I mean, he seems...well...he's something."  
  
"Yeah," Anya said. "He's...quite a piece of work."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
With her head on Xander's chest, Anya could not see the hint of misgiving that had crept into Xander's face. Of course, that also meant that Xander could not see the hint of misgiving in Anya's own eyes.  
  
All traces of apprehension were gone from both of their expressions as Anya looked up at Xander. He smiled, and she smiled back.  
  
"C'mon, beautiful," Xander whispered. "Let's go home."  
  
  
TBC  
Author's note: Thanks to Estepheia for her insights. 


	5. Part IV And the Silken Girls Bringing S...

Part IV - And the Silken Girls Bringing Sherbet  
  
  
  
"Who's there?!?"  
  
"That's a real knock, Buffybot," Tara sighed as she walked past the robot to the front door of the Summers' house. She tightened the belt on her bathrobe, then opened the door, and found Jinx standing on the porch, holding a stack of papers in his hand.  
  
"Oh, you," Tara mumbled, instinctively taking a cautionary step backwards. She drew a raspy breath, memories of the madness inflicted upon her by Glory rushing back to her. Jinx had been frequenting the Summers' home for two weeks, but the memories returned every time.   
  
"C'mon in," Tara said, struggling to maintain her composure.  
  
"Thank you," Jinx said, entering the house. "Good evening to you. And a most pleasant evening to you, Oh Most Marvelous Being."  
  
"Thank you!" The Buffybot responded.  
  
Tara groaned, then said:  
  
"What is it, Jinx?"  
  
"I bear information from Anya and Xander," Jinx replied. "I was told that a response was required expeditiously."  
  
"Alright," Tara said, extending her hand. "Hand it over."  
  
"Well, Anya was very specific in her insistence that only Willow take possession of these documents."  
  
"Buffy," Tara said. "Tell Jinx to give me the papers."  
  
"Jinx," the Buffybot responded. "Give those papers to Tara!"  
  
"As you wish, My Goddess," Jinx said, giving the papers to Tara. Jinx smiled at Tara. The Buffybot smiled at Tara. Then Jinx turned to the Buffybot. Jinx and the Buffybot smiled at each other.  
  
Tara didn't smile.  
  
"Alright," Tara said. "I'll give them to Willow. You can leave now."  
  
"Well, I was instructed to verify that Willow will provide further instructions this very evening," Jinx replied.  
  
"Buffy," Tara said. "Tell Jinx to...oh, forget it. Look, just come into the kitchen. Willow will be down in a minute."  
  
Tara turned and walked toward the kitchen, with Jinx and the Buffybot close behind.  
  
"Brother," Tara mumbled under her breath as she walked. "If it was like this when Spike signed on, I'm glad I was crazy."  
  
The three entered the kitchen and found Dawn sitting at the counter. She wore an oversized nightshirt, and was opening one of three pints of ice cream before her. Three empty bowls sat along the edges of the table, each with a spoon laying beside it.  
  
"I call dibs on the caramel fudge," Dawn said. "Did Willow remember the chocolate sprinkles, or should we just...oh."   
  
Dawn's jaw stiffened as she turned to face Tara and saw Jinx standing along side her. Dawn crossed her arms, instinctively shielding her stomach where Doc had made his shallow cuts.  
  
"What's HE doing here?" Dawn asked. "I thought the jokes knock-knocked him out?"  
  
"Xander and Anya found some stuff," Tara explained. "He brought over the papers."  
  
"What's he STILL doing here?" Dawn asked.  
  
"I was going to tell...well, it's a long story."  
  
"Jinx came with information," the Buffybot said. "We will use the information to fight the evil vampires!"  
  
"Yeah, right," Dawn mumbled.  
  
"Dawn, as your sister, I think I should remind you of your bedtime," the Buffybot said, walking over to Dawn and resting a hand on her shoulder. "Girls your age should...."  
  
"Um, Buffy," Tara said. "We discussed this. It's summer vacation. Dawn is allowed to stay up...."  
  
Tara stopped as Dawn forcefully pushed the Buffybot's hand away. Dawn turned, looked into the robot's eyes, and said:  
  
"Don't. Touch. Me."  
  
Tara quickly looked over to Jinx, who watched uncomfortably.  
  
"Heh, sisters," Tara said, smiling weakly. "You know how they fight. But it's nothing to worry about. Right, Buffy?"  
  
The Buffybot nodded, and a wide grin spread across her face.  
  
"Right?" Tara said, turning to face Dawn.  
  
"Sure," Dawn murmured. "Everything's just great."  
  
Tara paused as she heard footsteps behind her. She turned and saw Willow approaching.  
  
"Sundae-fest ready to go?" Willow asked as she entered the kitchen. "I picked up some spray can whipped cream on my way home from...oh! Jinx! Hi! What are you...?"  
  
Willow paused when she felt the confused stares of Tara and Dawn glaring upon her.   
  
"Um, that is," Willow continued, forcing her face into a scowl. "What do you want?"   
  
"He brought these," Tara replied, handing the papers to Willow. "Anya found something."  
  
"Oh," Willow said, taking the papers and flipping quickly through the sheets. "Hmm. It's a medallion, and the name Iparthus is pretty clearly mentioned, but the text is...."  
  
Willow paused as she came to the final paper in the stack.  
  
"Oh, my god," Willow gasped.  
  
"What?" Dawn asked. "Something big?"  
  
"Oh, um, no," Willow stammered. "It's...the amulet. There's...stuff, about the amulet. All kinds of stuff. Really. Stuff."  
  
"Stuff," Dawn repeated.   
  
"Let me see," Tara said, walking over to Willow and reading over her shoulder. "Anything on what the amulet...oh, my god!"  
  
"Two oh-my-gods," Dawn observed. "That must be some amulet."  
  
"Uh, yeah," Tara said. "Willow, you should start checking on this."  
  
"I'm on it," Willow said. "I'll be down in a minute."  
  
"Willow," the Buffybot said. "My batteries will require recharging before the morning."  
  
Willow's eyes widened as she stole a glance at Jinx. A puzzled expression crossed Jinx's face, until Tara interrupted with a loud yawn.  
  
"Yeah," Tara said, drawing a deep breath and stretching her arms high above her head. "I'm kind of tired, too. A good night's sleep will really 'recharge my batteries,' so to speak."  
  
Jinx smiled, nodding in understanding. Dawn turned her head to prevent Jinx from seeing her sigh of relief.  
  
"Good thinking," Willow said. "Tara, why don't you take Buffy upstairs to bed, so she can 'recharge the ol' batteries' with a little sack time. I'll start checking out stuff. Dawn, stay down here with Jinx until we come down."  
  
Dawn scowled. "I don't want to stay down here with HIM!"  
  
"Dawnie, please," Willow said. "It'll just be for a few minutes. I may need Jinx to...um...get a message to Xander and Anya. I'll be right down. I promise."  
  
"Whatever," Dawn said, absently stabbing a spoon into the ice cream.  
  
Willow bolted out of the kitchen and up the stairs.   
  
"C'mon, Buffy," Tara said, taking the robot by the elbow. "Let's get you to bed. Dawn, I'll be down as soon as I can. It'll be okay. I promise."  
  
Dawn paused, then nodded. Tara led the Buffybot by the arm out of the kitchen.  
  
"Have I interrupted a ritual of some kind?" Jinx asked.  
  
"Sort of," Dawn replied. "Every Thursday we have an ice cream pig out. It's a girl thing."  
  
"I must admit," Jinx said. "The customs observed by My Goddess are...difficult to comprehend."  
  
"Sorry," Dawn sneered. "We used to have more ceremonies where we'd slice into teenagers to open up dimensional portals, but we ran out of innocent victims."  
  
"I certainly hope that I was not the cause of the disagreement between you and The Most Splendiferous One?"  
  
"No," Dawn admitted. "It's just...I don't like her touching me."  
  
"Why? She is your sister, is she not?"  
  
"She's not...I mean...look, Jinx, this is really none of your business. Stay out of it."  
  
"I apologize," Jinx said. "You are quite right. The familial relations of My Goddess are hardly the concern of one as foul and decrepit as myself. I beg you, for my arrogance, take...."  
  
"Jinx, please," Dawn interrupted. "If you're going to make some kind of an offer to get disfigured, skip it. You'll ruin my appetite."  
  
"Again, I apologize," Jinx said. "I did not mean to.. that is, I did not want to be the cause of any conflict. I would not wish to...."  
  
"Wish to what?" Dawn asked.  
  
"I have already failed one goddess," Jinx said, his eyes falling. "I cannot bear the thought that I would fail another."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Dawn asked. "I mean, I thought you were on shoe duty when Buffy beat Glory?"  
  
"Yes," Jinx said. "I followed Glory's instructions to the letter."  
  
"Well, there you go," Dawn said. "It wasn't your fault she got the stuffing kicked out of her before my blood opened the gates to Hell."  
  
Dawn frowned as she pondered her last statement.  
  
"I have told myself that many times," Jinx agreed. "But I cannot help but think that there was something more that I could do. Of course, Glory insisted that it was imperative that her tastefully chosen ensembles accompany her. She told me that she had no intention of abandoning the wardrobe she had spent a lifetime accumulating. Apparently, in her home dimension, the more powerful beings normally adorn themselves with the viscera of lower demons. Glory stated that the innards of such creatures would fail to flatter her calves."  
  
"Ew," Dawn winced. "Well, I guess it would be hard to find entrails that have a slimming effect. On the person wearing them, that is. The demon it came from, well, you can't get much more slimming than...okay, there goes that appetite."  
  
"Glory always did have a keen fashion sense," Jinx observed. "Still, given the gravity of the events, I find it hard to believe that, well...."  
  
"What? You think she was lying?"  
  
"I suspect that she had another motive for assigning this task to me," Jinx said. "I was Glory's oldest minion. I would always assume her most challenging enterprises. I would deal with Ben, hunt for the Key, hand wash her more delicate unmentionables. As Glory grew closer to her goal, she would relegate me to increasingly more menial tasks. I suspect that she was trying to keep me out of harm's way."  
  
"That doesn't sound like Glory. I mean, she was evil and all. And you always talk about how she would smack you around and stuff."  
  
"Oh, that was just her way," Jinx said. "Sometimes, when she was alone and despondent, she would tell me of her plans to return to the realm from whence she came. And then she would tell me that I was her favorite, and that she would take me with her, to serve her for all eternity."  
  
"Oh," Dawn said, looking into Jinx's dispirited expression. "And that's why you figure she gave you her suitcases when the big battle was coming? She let her feelings for you distract her from...well, what she should have been thinking about?"  
  
"Perhaps," Jinx said. "Not that I am not gratetful for the preference she showed me, but...a part of me was relieved when Glory told me to stay away from the fight. I try to tell myself that it was obedience, but a part of me suspects that it was fear."  
  
"So," Dawn said, her eyes focusing intently on the empty bowl that sat before her. "You figure that...the only reason you're here is because...because you let Glory talk you into keeping yourself safe?"  
  
Jinx shrugged. "I certainly could have tried to persuade her to let me do more. Not that it is the place of a minion to question an order, but...for the longest time after she was lost, I kept asking myself if it was selfish of me to simply allow everything to occur, without so much as a word passing my wretched lips."  
  
"Yeah," Dawn said. "I mean, you tell yourself that you just did what you were told, but maybe you wanted...maybe you were just afraid...."  
  
Dawn lifted her spoon and reached for the pint of ice cream before her. She stared at the label wordlessly for a moment, then turned to Jinx and said:  
  
"Hey, look, do you ever get...angry? At Glory, I mean. Do you ever get really, really angry at her, which is stupid, because she isn't...there...but still you think about how much you miss her, and how awful you feel, and how crazy things have gotten, and how much better it would have been if she'd just let you....well, do you? Get angry?"  
  
"I did," Jinx admitted. "But not anymore."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I now serve Buffy. I cannot change the past. All I can do now is serve my new Goddess to the best of my ability. I am here. I wallowed in my grief for a time, but to do so indefinitely would accomplish nothing."  
  
"Huh," Dawn mumbled. "That's...interesting. You know, sometimes I...."  
  
Dawn was interrupted by the sound of a single telephone ring. Dawn turned toward the kitchen phone, but when a second ring did not follow, she surmised that Tara had answered the telephone upstairs. A moment later, Tara walked into the kitchen and said:  
  
"It's Janice. She wants to know how you're doing with your summer reading."  
  
"I'll take it upstairs," Dawn said, rising from her seat and walking toward the hall.  
  
"Okay," Tara said, taking a seat at the counter.  
  
Dawn stopped before exiting the kitchen, turned to Tara, and asked:  
  
"Tara, is...Buffy...all taken care of?"  
  
"Uh, yeah," Tara responded, somewhat surprised by the question.   
  
"Good," Dawn said. "I'll be right down. Oh, Jinx?"  
  
"Yes?" Jinx replied.  
  
"I'll...I'll be right down," Dawn repeated, then turned and continued down the hallway.  
  
Tara shot a puzzled glance at Jinx. Jinx merely smiled, his hands folded in his lap.  
  
"What were you two talking about?" Tara inquired.  
  
"We were merely discussing the difficulties of being a minion," Jinx explained.  
  
"Yeah, tough job," Tara said, an uncharacteristic tone of sarcasm in her voice. "I guess helping Glory turn helpless victims into insane slaves wasn't always easy, was it?"  
  
"Oh, it was one of many tasks that required a great deal of effort," Jinx said. "The kidnappings, the constant complimenting, the pedicures. Unpleasantness, but I was honored to perform whatever menial services I could provide. After all, I could ask for no better."  
  
"What do you mean?" Tara asked. "Did you do something wrong?"  
  
"Oh, it was not a question of atonement," Jinx said. "It was merely fitting my station."  
  
"Your station?"  
  
"Other demons generally do not associate with our species," Jinx explained. "We are considered a lower form of demon."  
  
"I don't get it," Tara said. "You have that regenerating thing. You're unkillable. I'd figure other demons would be looking to stay on your good side."  
  
"There is a hierarchy among demons," Jinx said. "It is difficult to explain to a human. The members of your kind are virtually identical to each other. The minor differences among you are of no consequence."  
  
"I dunno," Tara said, shifting uncomfortably. "I mean, humans can be like that, to people who are...different. Sometimes humans can be very cruel to each other, just because...well, for no good reason, really."  
  
"How odd," Jinx observed. "Well, for our kind, it eventually was of no consequence."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Glorificus," Jinx sighed. "Demons sought her from all over the globe, simply to worship her. She could have selected the strongest, the fiercest, the most powerful of demons to serve as her minions. But she selected us. She selected ME, a loathsome pile of flesh and hair, to attend to her. Centuries of hiding, of cowering before the lower beings, and then, the most powerful of all beings chose me to be at her side. It was as though all the years of struggle had finally brought me to something that made my foul existence a gift to be treasured."  
  
"You mean, she made you feel special," Tara said, her eyes drifting downward.  
  
"Yes, she did," Jinx said.   
  
"I guess I can see that," Tara said. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that justifies all the evil and killing and mind stuff, but...I can see how that would feel."  
  
"I try not to dwell too much on the past," Jinx said. "After all, I have been so fortunate to find Buffy."  
  
"Yeah," Tara replied. "It's not easy to find someone who makes you feel that way."  
  
Tara was silent for a moment, then looked up at Jinx, and said:  
  
"Um, Jinx? Did you ever wonder...if maybe that's what it was all about? I mean, when things would get scary, and stuff was going on that made you...uncomfortable...did you ever wonder if maybe you kept it all inside because you were afraid that, if you screwed it up, you'd go back to feeling like you didn't matter? Like you'd stop feeling...special?"  
  
"Well, no," Jinx answered. "I surely do not want to return to the life I had before, but the life I have now gives me joy because my devotion to My Goddess is genuine. She is truly a wondrous creature. She is most worthy of any hardship I may have to endure. Simply being in her presence gives me delight, and I know that it comes for my love of her, not from anything in the past."  
  
"Yeah," Tara said. "I mean, it's great when you're with someone, and you just know it's right. But, still...."  
  
"We got it!"  
  
Tara turned and saw that the cry had come from Willow.   
  
"We got it?" Tara repeated. "What...oh! It. Are you sure?"  
  
"You betcha!" Willow exclaimed. "I mean, we don't actually HAVE it, but I checked it out, and it's definitely the one. I contacted Xander. He couldn't talk long. He and Anya were...well, let's just say he was out of breath. But he did say that they found an out of town source, and we'll know in a couple of weeks whether we can get it."  
  
"How did you talk with him?" Tara asked. "Isn't Dawn on the phone with Janice?"  
  
Willow grinned and tapped a finger against her forehead. "I was a little worried about making a connection, what with the distance, and the interference from the Henderson's satellite dish, but I got through. Remind me to tell Xander to stop speaking out loud when we do the ESP thing. It makes an echo."  
  
"So if we get...it," Tara said, casting a cautionary glance at Jinx, "we have a chance?"  
  
"Chance my ass," Willow said. "I can do it. I know it. Hell, the way I feel tonight I think I could do anything!"  
  
"That's...great," Tara said, absently playing with the fringed end of her bathrobe belt.  
  
"What's wrong?" Willow asked.  
  
"Oh, it's nothing," Tara said. "I'm...I guess I'm just a little tired."  
  
"Perhaps you should 'recharge your batteries' with some sleep?" Jinx suggested, looking in Willow and Tara's faces for approval in his use of the idiom.  
  
"Yeah," Tara said, a weak smile crossing her face. "Maybe that would help."  
  
"Janice doesn't get John Keats either," Dawn said, entering the kitchen and sitting at the counter. "So, sundae time?"  
  
"All set," Willow replied.  
  
"You will not require my services for the rest of the evening?" Jinx asked.  
  
"Nope," Willow answered. "We're done."  
  
"Very well," Jinx said. "I will bid you all a good night."  
  
"Um, Jinx," Dawn said. "Where exactly do you sleep?"  
  
"Oh, there is an abandoned warehouse on the docks," Jinx explained. "Quite comfortable."  
  
"Oh," Dawn sighed.  
  
"Hey," Tara said. "You know, there's plenty of room in the basement."  
  
"Oh, I would not dream of imposing on your hospitality," Jinx said.   
  
"Oh, it's no trouble," Tara responded. "Right, Will?"  
  
"Uh, yeah," Willow said, somewhat taken aback by Tara and Dawn's new concern for Jinx's comfort.  
  
"Well, it would allow me to tend to The Most Delectable One more closely," Jinx said.  
  
"There you go," Dawn said.  
  
"I will retire to the basement, then," Jinx said, bowing and turning to walk toward the hall.  
  
"Wait a minute," Dawn said. "Uh, before you crash...well, we always buy way too much ice cream. I mean, we scarf it down, but there's always plenty left."  
  
"Would you like me to arrange the freezer?" Jinx inquired. "I am sure that, given a little attention, I can organize the frozen foods in such a way that would allow ample room for...."  
  
"No, no, no," Tara said. "I think Dawn means that you can have some, if you want."  
  
"I thought this ritual was for female minions only?" Jinx asked. "I would not want to commit a sacrilege against your...."  
  
"It's fine," Dawn said. "Isn't it, Willow?"  
  
"Sure," Willow replied, deciding to accept Willow and Tara's new rapport with Jinx until she could get an explanation. "Help yourself. I mean, if you want. I know demons can have some...unusual tastes. Do you like ice cream?"  
  
"I...I really don't know," Jinx said. "I've never had it before."  
  
"You've NEVER had ice cream?" Dawn gasped. "Oh my god, you've got to try the caramel fudge. It's fantabulous!"  
  
Jinx looked at the faces of the ladies, found their expressions full of inviting approval, then walked up to the counter and said:  
  
"Caramel fudge it is." 


	6. Part V We Returned to Our Places, These...

Part V - We Returned to Our Places, These Kingdoms

  


"Take this to HEART!" the Buffybot quipped, thrusting her stake into the chest of the vampire that Jinx had pinned to the ground.

'Xander, behind you!' Willow thought, standing at the upper level of the Magic Box, watching the battle below.

"Yikes!" Xander yelped, turning to face his attacker just in time to catch a punch across his jaw. Anya swung the bat in her hands, connecting with the vampire's shoulder. The vamp growled, turned to face Anya, but collapsed to the ground as a roundhouse kick from Spike struck him in the back of the head.

Giles raised his crossbow, taking aim at the vampire on the ground, but before he could send the bolt on its way, another vampire tackled him and pinned him against the bookshelves.

"Invola!" Tara exclaimed, standing next to Willow, with Dawn watching beside her.

From the wall opposite Giles, a row of books sprang one by one at the vampire, who released Giles and shielded himself with his arms. The vampire threw himself to the ground as the final book flew through the air and struck Giles squarely on the forehead.

"Oh, sorry!" Tara gasped.

"You've GOT to teach me that," Dawn said.

'Jinx,' Willow thought. 'Help Giles.'

Jinx ran across the room and dove onto the crouching vampire, wrapping him in a bear hug. The Buffybot followed, grasped the vampire by the throat, and plunged her stake into the vampire's heart. It disintegrated in Jinx's grasp.

"One left," Spike muttered, backhanding the last vampire across the face, drawing a stake from the inside of his jacket, and burying it in the vampire's chest. 

"Done and done," Spike said as the vampire turned to dust.

"Giles!" Tara cried out, running down the stairs.

"I'm alright," Giles replied, holding his head with one hand and lifting himself with the other. "It was a relatively small volume."

"I guess you're lucky you listened to me and moved the Encyclopedia Britannica to the bottom shelf," Anya observed.

"Of course," Giles sighed, as Tara helped him to his feet.

"You see," Willow said as she descended the stairs, with Dawn following close behind. "I told you we should use the ESP thing more. It worked like a charm."

"I got clobbered anyway," Xander said, rubbing his jaw.

"Well, that's just because you're clumsy," Willow responded.

"I want it noted by all that I was NOT the one to say that," Spike said.

"Hey!" Xander said. "Shut up, Spi...I mean, Willow, I'm not...oh, everybody just leave me alone!"

"Is everyone alright?" Giles asked.

"Looks like," Anya said. "And...hey! No damage to the merchandise! Of course, the floor's a little dusty. Jinx, would you mind grabbing the broom?"

"As you wish," Jinx said, turning and walking toward the door to the basement. He opened the door and proceeded to descend the stairs. After the door had closed behind him, Giles said:

"Willow, check her."

Willow walked over to the Buffybot and examined her. 

"She looks alright," Willow said. "Nothing...wait."

Willow grasped the robot's palm and squinted. She then grabbed her purse from the counter, and said:

"There's a little tear on the plastic on her hands. Nothing much, but we should get it fixed while we have the chance. I'll take her in the training room before Jinx gets back up here. C'mon, Buffybot."

"Was I quippy?" the Buffybot asked as she followed Willow toward the back room.

"Yeah, a laugh riot," Willow sighed.

"Thank you!"

Willow and the Buffybot entered the training room. Willow closed the door, and the Scoobies heard the bolt of the lock click into place.

"Xander, help me with this," Giles said, grabbing one end of the table.

"Those vamps meant business," Xander said, taking the other end of the table, and pushing it with Giles' help back into proper position. "Probably the same vamps who have been after the amulet. We must be getting close."

"Xander, we're not getting close," Giles said, dropping his end of the table.

"So why did they attack us after all this time?" Tara said, picking up an armload of books and walking over to replace them on the shelves.

"I suspect that THEY'RE getting close," Giles surmised. "They probably want us out of the way before they make their move. We'll have to step up our efforts."

"What about that stuff Anya found?" Tara asked.

"I have a rough translation of the text," Giles replied. "It explains the nature of the amulet, but really doesn't give any indication of where it might be located."

"So what's it do?" Xander asked.

"Perhaps it would be best to wait for Willow," Giles said. "No point in repeating it all again."

"Sounds like a plan," Xander agreed. "Want me to check on her?"

"No, I will," Giles said. "Assist the others in cleaning up the mess. We should be ready by the time you're done."

Giles turned and walked to the door of the training room. He gently knocked, then said:

"It's me."

After a moment, the lock clicked, and Willow pulled the door open.

"How are the repairs coming?" Giles asked, casting a cautionary glance backward, then entering the room.

"Easy enough," Willow said, closing the door behind Giles and locking it. "The damage is minor. None of the inner workings appear damaged."

"Superficial damage is as bad as any other," Giles noted. "Any indication that the robot is less than human would be disastrous."

"I may be able to get a repair kit put together," Willow said, walking over to the limp body of the Buffybot seated in a chair, and grabbing her PDA, which was connected to an opening in the robot's neck by a thick, grey cord. "A dab of liquid plastic can usually cover up the little rips. It might do the trick in a pinch, if I can teach the robot to repair herself in the field."

"Well, that would certainly go a long way toward concealing the physical nature of the machine," Giles said. "Of course, that leaves the language issue."

"Yeah, the jokes," Willow said, taking a final look at the data on her PDA before turning the power off. "I'm not sure what to do about that. Besides, we may have a bigger problem."

"What kind of problem?"

"The way she talks about herself," Willow explained. "Jinx was over the other night, and she mentioned charging her batteries. We were able to cover for her, but still, it was a close call."

"Can't you simply instruct the robot to avoid mentions of her...well, mechanical attributes?"

"I tried," Willow said. "But...it's weird. One minute she'll be talking about her fiber optics, then the next thing you know she'll point to a picture of Joyce and say that she was her 'biological ancestor.' I don't think the robot understands the difference."

"Well," Giles said. "We are asking a machine to understand a rather abstract construct. Even humans are often confused by such concepts."

"Yep," Willow said (deciding not to point out Giles' attempts to teach the robot meditation as an example). She disconnected the cable from the Buffybot, and shoved the PDA and its cord into her purse. She then pressed a button inside the opening of the robot's neck, and closed the panel.

The Buffybot's head suddenly sprang upright.

"Good morning!" the Buffybot exclaimed. "Although my internal clock indicates that it is in fact ten thirty-seven p.m., Pacific Standard Time. This is the time when I should patrol!"

Willow looked at Giles and shrugged.

"Very well," Giles said. "A quick patrol may be in order. However, if you see any large groups of vampires, report back to us immediately. We still need to be on the lookout for anyone after the amulet."

"I understand," the Buffybot replied. "You are my Watcher, and I will do whatever you say without question!"

"You sure you want me to make her more real?" Willow asked Giles.

"Well, perhaps we shouldn't strive for too much perfection," Giles said.

The Buffybot walked over to the exit, opened the door, and shouted:

"Evil demons, beware!"

The robot walked out into the night. The door slammed behind her.

"Anyway," Willow said, "I'll see what I can do about the programming. The software's a little tricky. It would help if I...."

Willow was interrupted by a rap at the door.

"Who's there?" Willow said. "Ouch! Darned knock-knock jokes are starting to...."

"It is I," Jinx's voice called from the other side of the door.

"It-is-I who?" Giles sighed, rolling his eyes.

"And you complain about the robot's humor," Willow muttered, crossing the floor and unlocking the door. She opened the door, and found Jinx standing on the other side, holding a broom in one hand and a dustpan in the other.

"Hey, Jinx," Willow said. "What's up?"

"I have finished cleaning the remains of My Goddess's foul enemies," Jinx replied. "Anya suggested that, since I have the broom in my possession, I might also sweep the floor of the training room."

"Ugh, how lazy!" Willow exclaimed. "You go tell her that you're not her personal...."

Willow stopped as she noticed Giles' perplexed expression.

"Uh, I mean," Willow stammered. "Yeah. Get to work."

"As you wish," Jinx said, walking across the room, laying the dustpan on the pummel horse, and working the broom into a corner to get at a dust bunny.

"I'll be out in a moment," Giles said. "I'll just keep an eye on him."

"We'll be ready," Willow said, walking out of the training room and closing the door behind her.

Giles turned and began pulling chinese stars from the wall behind the practice dummy. 'Odd,' Giles thought. 'I don't recall teaching the robot to use throwing stars.' 

"Excuse me," Jinx said. Giles turned and saw Jinx standing behind him with a broom. Jinx gestured toward the floor at Giles' feet.

"Oh, yes," Giles said, taking several steps toward the wall. Jinx began sweeping where Giles had been standing.

"Oh, and I discovered this on the floor while cleaning near the counter," Jinx said, reaching into the folds of his robe and handing a yellow slip of paper to Giles. "It looked like it might be of some importance."

"Oh, yes," Giles said, glancing at the paper. "It's the itinerary for my trip to England. Thank you."

"You are taking a journey?"

"Oh, yes," Giles said. "A short visit home. A friend is getting married. It's only for one week. I really can't be away longer than that."

"Of course not," Jinx said, returning to his sweeping. "It would dishonor Buffy to be apart from her most divine company for an extended period."

"Jinx, it has nothing to do with...look, the Hellmouth is a very dangerous place, and my presence here is necessary."

"Oh, most certainly," Jinx said. "After all, you're powers of...well...exactly what powers do you have?"

"I don't have powers," Giles said, an edge creeping into his voice. "It's a question of knowledge. We never know what magics or demons we may face, and it is essential that my education as a Watcher is available so that we may successfully research any threats that arise."

"Much in the way that Willow does?"

"Exac...that is...well, she has demonstrated some talents in that area, but...it's difficult to explain."

"Of course," Jinx said. "Many of the minions employed by my Goddess to have roles that I find perplexing, but her judgment is beyond question."

"Quite," Giles said in a low voice, shoving the paper into his pocket.

"Are such pilgrimages to one's place of birth required by the Goddess?" Jinx asked.

"Required?" Giles repeated. "Oh, no. I am visiting England by choice."

"Good."

"Why 'good'?" Giles asked.

"I would prefer not to return to my place of birth," Jinx said, his voice dropping slightly.

"Where would that be?"

"My kind inhabit the sewer systems of a city your people call Trenton," Jinx replied.

"Oh, I see. I suppose the accommodations in a sewer would be less than comfortable."

"Oh, no," Jinx said. "Not at all. I have many fond memories of that place. Trapping sewer rats. Scaring city engineers who would get lost. Delighting in the various pungent aromas."

"Er, yes," Giles said, wincing at Jinx's final description. 

"Besides," Jinx continued. "It kept us out of the way of other demons."

"How's that?"

"We are not well thought of among other demons," Jinx explained. "That is why we reside in Trenton. There are not many other demons who reside there."

"I see," Giles said, his mind racing. "So...your species does not associate with other demons?"

"Very little."

"And, if you were in Trenton, you would have little contact with the outside world?"

"Oh, virtually none," Jinx confirmed. "My kind have no concern for the world of men."

"Really," Giles said. "You know, Jinx, I'm sure that...your Goddess...would understand if you wished to return to your kind."

"Oh, I could not possibly," Jinx said. "My place by Buffy's side. Besides, I would not wish to face...that is, my place is at Buffy's side."

"Don't wish to face what?" Giles asked.

"Well, it it would awkward," Jinx mumbled. "There was a great deal of fanfare when Glory approached us, looking for minions. To return, after such a spectacular failure...."

"Yes," Giles said. "I suppose that it would be...difficult."

"I was perhaps a bit boastful when Glory selected me to be among her minions," Jinx continued. "There were so many of us, and...well, to return would be far too embarrassing."

"I see," Giles said, absently turning one of the throwing stars between his fingers. He thought of Parsons, the man whose wedding he would be attending. They'd both been Watchers. Giles recalled the night at the pub before he'd departed for America. The others had looked at him with such envy in their eyes. After many hours, and more than many pints, he'd let the facade of detached humility drop, and basked in the pride of knowing that, among them all, he'd been the one chosen for the next Chosen One.

They would all be at the wedding. All of them knowing that he'd regained his position only after Buffy had blackmailed Travers. None of them knowing that Buffy was gone. Giles had avoided many such gatherings, excusing his absences with complaints of duty and dire circumstances. But Parsons was an old friend. Parson's father had used his influence to get Giles back into the Council's good graces, after the interlude of rebellion in his youth that would have normally caused him to be deemed "below standards." 

"In any event," Jinx said. "It is of no importance. I serve Buffy now. There is no reason for me to give a second thought to leaving." 

"What?" Giles exclaimed, his reverie interrupted. "Yes...I mean, no. That is, it's bit of a switch, isn't it? First serving Glory, then coming here and sweeping up?"

"Oh, not entirely," Jinx said, squinting at the floor before determining that a dark spot was in fact a scuff mark. "Glory insisted on maintaining a pristine lair. There was much to do to keep her happy."

"I don't mean the sweeping specifically," Giles said, dropping the throwing stars into a wooden box against the wall. "Jinx, I've devoted my life to the study of demons. Their customs, their habits, and so forth, and yet, I can't say that I really understand your rather, well, remarkable shift of allegiances."

"Buffy is clearly the superior god," Jinx shrugged, as he dropped to his knees and rubbed the scuff mark with his sleeve. "It is only fitting that I would serve her."

"Yes, but still," Giles said. "You must admit that Glory and Buffy really were at cross purposes. Surely you have some opinion as to the actual goals they strived for?"

"No," Jinx replied, rising to his feet and sweeping the last of the dust into a single pile. "I am a lower being. It is not for me to question the desires of my Goddess."

"But you're a sentient creature," Giles argued. "You have your own mind."

"Yes," Jinx said, walking over to the pummel horse and grabbing the dustpan. "And, in my mind, and in my heart, I know that whatever Buffy directs me to do, that is the best purpose for me."

"But, Jinx, don't you see? That negates you as an individual. You can't merely define yourself by your associations. You must choose your own path."

"I have," Jinx said, bending over and sweeping the dirt pile into the dustpan. "I have chosen Buffy."

Giles shook his head and scowled. "We're arguing in circles. What I'm trying to make you see is that merely following the destiny of another simply leaves you with...."

"Excuse me," Jinx said. "Would it be possible for us to continue this conversation at another time? I really do need to empty this dirt."

"I suppose," Giles sighed in frustration.

"Oh, and while I am tidying up," Jinx said. "Would you like me to put that book back on the shelf?"

"What?" Giles said, following Jinx's eyes to the table, and noticing a thin volume lying open. "Oh, no. I'm not finished with that. It's an instructional manual for martial arts training. It concerns the use of meditation as a way of keeping focus and...."

Giles' voice trailed off, and his eyes dropped.

"For keeping focus and...?" Jinx asked.

"W-w-well, for maintaining a clear mind in combat," Giles continued, removing his glasses and pulling a handkerchief from his pocket.

"Oh, so you are using the technique to train with Buffy!" Jinx exclaimed in understanding.

"Er, yes," Giles said, as he absently cleaned his glasses. "That is, I tried to. Of course, perhaps it was foolish to...I mean...it didn't work."

"A pity," Jinx said. "However, I am sure that this only means that it is an inferior publication. I am sure that you and My Goddess will find a more suitable method for her training."

"Yes, of course," Giles said weakly.

"I must say, Buffy has proven to be a most...unique Goddess," Jinx said. "I never imagined that she would need training."

"Funny," Giles murmured, as he put his glasses back on. "I never imagined that she wouldn't."

Jinx searched Giles' face for the meaning of the cryptic remark.

"Well, that's not entirely true," Giles continued, his eyes drifting down toward the floor. "Once, I thought of returning to England permanently. But, then, Buffy asked me to stay, and I thought that I'd never have to...."

Giles paused, lost in a moment of unpleasant memory.

"You should see if Anya needs further assistance," Giles finally said.

"As you command," Jinx said, turning toward the door.

"Oh, Jinx?"

"Yes?"

"Ahem, well...nice job on the floor."

Jinx nodded, and exited the room.

Giles shoved the handkerchief back into his pocket, then took a long look around the training room. His eyes moved over each object, much as Buffy's had when she had first seen the room. He then walked over to the table, closed the book, tucked it under his arm, and walked out to join the others.

  


TBC


	7. Part VI But There Was No Information

Part IV - But There Was No Information, and So We Continued

  


Giles walked out of the training room to the table of the Magic Box, and noticed that the disarray of the earlier battle was now gone. Dawn sat at the table, underlining passages in her textbook, as Spike looked over her shoulder. Xander and Anya stood at the cash register counting the day's receipts. Willow saw Giles enter, and walked from the bookshelves over to meet him, with Tara following close behind.

"Where's Jinx?" Giles inquired, dropping the book in his hands on the table.

"Sent him home," Willow replied. "I figured it wasn't a good idea to have him here when the robot gets back, just in case there's any damage."

"Said he was all in from the night's fight and sweep up," Spike added.

"Very well," Giles said. "We should get started on the materials I found on the medallion."

"Fine by me," Dawn said. "I'm not getting anywhere with this stupid urn."

"What?" Willow immediately gasped, a moment before she regained her composure and instructed her face to assume a more neutral expression.

"Urn," Dawn repeated. "As in 'Ode on a Grecian,' by John Keats."

"Oh, right!" Willow exclaimed, forcing a deliberately casual smile. "Your poetry homework."

"What did you think I was talking about?" Dawn asked.

"Oh, Keats," Giles said, as Willow silently thanked her luck for his interruption. Giles sighed, and orated:

  
"What men or gods are these? What maidens loth?   
What mad pursuit? What struggle to escape?   
What pipes and timbrels? What wild ecstasy?" 

"I give up," Dawn said. "You tell me. What the heck's supposed to be going on in this thing?"

"That's the point," Giles said, leaning over Dawn's shoulder to point to the text. "The ambiguity of the images on the...."

Giles voice trailed off as he noticed Dawn's notes laying next to her textbook.

"Dawn," Giles said. "I thought we agreed that you would come to me if you had any questions about your studies."

"What?" Spike said. "I summed it all up for her."

"Spike," Giles sighed. "Keats' poem is a testament to eternal and enduring beauty, and the transcendent nature of artistic achievement. It is not, quote, 'a crock about a crock,' endquote."

"I'm with Spike," Dawn said. "I mean, it's stupid. This Keats guy pretty much says that it's cool if you never get what you want."

"Keats is not referring to actual events," Giles replied. "He's commenting on the static images portrayed on the pottery. The heroes are portrayed in the midst of their adventures. Their stories become timeless, because the imaginations of those that see them will never be sated. It's the struggle of heroes that makes a story engaging. Resolution is ultimately unsatisfying, because all of the obstacles have been overcome. Because the moments in time portrayed by the etchings on the urn are preserved eternally, they will forever inspire those who perceive them."

"Lemme get this straight," Dawn said. "You're saying that, no matter how much people want to see the good guys win and the bad guys lose and the knight and the princess get married and have a million babies, they're really happier if everything stays miserable forever?"

"W-w-well, that's not precisely how I'd express the concept," Giles stammered.

"That's kind of warped," Dawn said, scowling. "I mean, on one hand, you're rooting for these guys. But really, when you get down to it, if they win out, you lose interest. That's messed up."

"It's not 'messed up,' Dawn," Giles said. "It's natural. Life is a constant struggle. We identify with characters because we empathize with them. It's tragic, yet it's also poignant, it's epic, it's...."

"It's a load of bloody rot is what it is," Spike interjected.

"Look," Giles said. "The poem...."

"It's just rot, is all," Spike continued. "These gits with their tragedy and angst. All scrawled by a bunch of poofters who probably never got in a finger's length of a woman. You want something, you go after it until it's yours. Anything else is rubbish."

"Spike," Giles said. "I hardly think...."

"Wait a sec," Dawn said, as she pulled her notebook in front of her and began scribbling quickly. "You're going too fast. How may 'f's in 'poofter'?"

"Just the one," Spike replied. "And it ends with an 'r.' It's silent."

"And suddenly the letter 'r' seems so virtuous," Giles sighed. "Perhaps we should turn our attention to the medallion."

"Sounds like a plan," Willow said. "Xander! Anya! We're ready."

Willow and Tara took seats at the table as Anya and Xander walked over and joined them.

"Reynaal was a archmage in the Nineteenth Century," Giles said, opening a volume on the table pushing the book to the center of the table. "His apprentice, Iparthus, took possession of Reynaal's Medallion after Reynaal was killed by a Druidic sect. Iparthus carried it for a time, and according to the accounts, fled to the New World when the sect discovered he possessed the medallion."

"And this is it?" Xander asked, gesturing toward a picture in the open book.

"The same," Giles replied.

"It does look a lot like the one we found on the net," Anya observed.

"The information from the internet was flawed," Giles said. "Which is not surprising. The materials you found suggested that Iparthus was buried in Sunnydale, which is erroneous. However, the web site did reference the Winthrop treatise, a far more reliable text. According to Winthrop, Iparthus was eventually killed by the sect, who found that the amulet was no longer in his possession. It was assumed that the followers of Iparthus took the medallion for safe keeping and fled west. However, they apparently were all killed in the earthquake that struck Sunnydale when the Master attempted to open the Hellmouth. It is theorized that one of those followers possessed the amulet, and was buried along with the other victims. Of course, given the rather high loss of life at the time, the exact location of any individual's remains is difficult to ascertain."

"What's with the caps?" Willow asked, squinting at the picture and pointing out two circular knobs on the surface of the medallion.

"They contain the materials necessary to invoke the magic of the amulet," Giles explained. "The medallion itself is plated in pure gold. The two small vials are constructed into the amulet. One contains a sacred oil, the other a caked incense. The wearer of the amulet is anointed with the oil, a small amount of the incense is burned, and after that the wearer is imbued with the amulet's power."

"What kind of power?" Tara asked.

"Essentially," Giles answered, "the amulet drains the physical and mental essence of whatever being the wearer touches. The amulet transfers that essence to the wearer. He gains the physical strength, the memories, and if the creature touched is a demon, the supernatural powers of the victim, who is of course killed by the process. As the wearer accumulates the essences of more beings, he of course becomes more powerful."

"Oh, like Rogue," Xander observed.

"Well, I suppose that is accurate," Giles said. "Any person who would be willing to kill simply to gain power would certainly be...."

"No, no, no," Xander said. "I mean, like the superhero."

"Oh, yeah," Anya said. "The little girl from 'The Piano' played her in that movie that disappointed you so much."

"I'll say," Xander snorted. "No Danger Room? Pfft."

"I thought a couple of the lines were kind of funny," Dawn observed.

"Please, if we can focus," Giles sighed.

"Okay," Xander said. "So these vamps are working for some guy who wants the amulet. They get some bad info off the net, and start looking for a tomb that doesn't exist. So they'll never find it, right?"

"A dangerous assumption," Giles said. "They have been researching this subject longer than we, and since they took the rather aggressive move of attacking us this evening, it would suggest that they are getting closer to finding the medallion."

"And we're not, really," Willow noted. "I mean, we don't know which of Iparthus' followers had the medallion, and we don't know where any of them are buried."

"So we've got nothing," Xander said.

"At least we know what not to look for," Anya said. "That's something."

"Yeah," Tara said. "I mean, at least we know what we don't know anything about."

"Not an entirely encouraging bit of progress," Giles said. "But progress nonetheless."

"So we start researching these minion guys," Willow said. "See what we can dig up, and keep patrolling in the meantime."

"What about our other problem?" Spike asked.

Willow scowled. "What other problem?"

"Jinx," Spike said. "Do we know anything yet about how to kill him?"

"Oh, that," Willow said. "Um...well...we've been concentrating on the medallion, and...well, that seemed to be more important...."

"More important?" Spike said. This time he scowled. "The little bugger is a walking bomb ready to go off. He's over at the house all the time, doting on the 'Bot. He must have let something slip. Some weakness, or vulnerability...."

"He doesn't like walnuts," Tara volunteered.

"Doesn't like, as in 'he-doubled-over-in-horrible-and-perhaps-mortal-pain' doesn't like?" Spike asked.

"No," Tara admitted. "Doesn't like as in 'he-picked-them-off-with-a-spoon-and-asked-for-more-whipped-cream' doesn't like."

"Whipped what?" Spike cried. "What the bloody Hell have you been...?"

"We're not still killing Jinx, are we?" Dawn said, her eyes widening as she searched the faces of the Scoobies for an answer.

"Can't be helped, Bit," Spike replied. "Not a pretty job, but it's got to be done. Willow, explain."

"Right," Willow said, nodding a little too quickly. "I mean, he's dangerous...or at least he was, and...well, there's the whole greater good thing...but...well...I was kind of thinking maybe we should maybe let him live, too."

"Okay," Tara agreed. 

"See, that's three votes," Dawn said. 

"Votes?" Spike said. "You don't vote on...he's a...Harris, explain to these people what we do to evil, dangerous demons."

"We kill 'em," Xander replied. "If we run across a demon, and it's evil, we slay it, no exceptions...."

"There you go," Spike said.

"...except this time, because I don't want to kill Jinx either," Xander finished.

"What!?"

"I dunno," Xander said. "It's just...he...he kinda...grows on you."

"And he's been really helpful around the shop," Anya chimed in.

"I don't...ugh," Spike grunted. "Look, Watcher, explain to these people what's got to be done."

"Well," Giles started, "Spike has pointed out...well, such matters warrant a great deal of...."

Giles' voice trailed off, until a slight smile crossed his face, and he said:

"He does have a...quality, doesn't he? That is, he's really rather amiable."

"And he can be so cute," Dawn said. "He's like a little kid. Like, remember when we asked him if he wanted chocolate sauce on his sundae?"

"Yeah!" Willow exclaimed. "He saw us squeezing the Hershey's syrup out of the bottle, and he said he'd never had chocolate before. He knew about chocolate, because he'd stolen some Godivas for Glory...."

"But she'd never let HIM have any," Tara added. 

"Right," Willow said. "So we put a little of it on his ice cream, and he tasted it, and his eyes just lit up, and poured about half the bottle out in his dish, and every time he took a bite he made that yummy-yummy sound, and then...."

"Have you all gone bleedin' mad!?" Spike shouted. "Might I remind you all that your very helpful, very cute, very charming new friend is the same demon who, not that long ago, was trying to kill us all!"

"Um, well, Spike," Willow started. "Not to state the obvious, but the same thing's kind of true about...."

"It's not kind of true," Spike interrupted. "It's completely true. C'mon, how many people in this room got within a hair's breath of death because of him?"

After an uneasy pause, Tara said:

"Spike, I think what Willow's trying to point out is that, if you look back, most of us could say...."

"We wouldn't be saying a bloody word if he'd had his way," Spike continued. "And, what? We're supposed to forget all that, just because he lends a hand for awhile? Bollox! The only reason he's helping out is because he's got some weird obsession with Buffy. Now, is that the sort of thing you stake your life on?"

Spike looked around the room, expecting either agreement or argument. When he found only blank stares, he exclaimed:

"What?"

"You know, maybe Spike has a point," Xander said, trying not to smile. "I mean, look at Jinx's history. All those years he spent waiting hand and foot a lunatic woman, with her strange demands and random freak outs. Not exactly the kind of thing a normal guy does."

"Xander," Willow said, frowning.

"Don't cut him off," Spike said. "He's finally talking sense."

"Look, Spike," Giles said. "It's not that there isn't some merit to the points you've made. And I enjoy a bit of irony as much as the next, but you do see that everything you've said could just as easily...."

"...have been said to a brick wall," Spike said, strutting over to the counter to grab his duster.

"You morons want to make friends with that git, fine," Spike said, shoving each arm into the sleeves of his coat. "Wait here to be demon fodder. Hope you enjoy a bit of ice cream before your new friend gets you all killed. Tell you what, after I've had a nice dance on your graves, we'll all take a bleedin' vote on what to do next."

Spike turned and stormed through the front door of the Magic Box, slamming it closed as he left.

"Okay, that was odd," Tara said.

"I don't think that could have been more bizarre," Willow observed.

"I was speechless," Anya said.

"I stand corrected," Willow muttered.

"Unbelievable," Xander said. "It's like he couldn't hear himself. I mean, we're here trying to have a rational conversation about Jinx, and all Spike can do is rant on and on, 'he's evil, he's a killer, he can't be trusted.' He's just like the guy he was describing, and he didn't have a clue. How pathetic is that?"

Xander glanced at each of the Scoobies, expecting nods of agreement, but found that everyone was staring at him, stupefied. Finally, he said:

"What?"

"I'll explain later, Sweetie," Anya sighed.

"Guys," Dawn said. "I'm kinda worried. I mean, Spike seemed to be taking all of the stuff with Jinx sort of...personally. I've never seen him like that before."

"I think I get it," Tara said. "I think this may be different for Spike."

"Why?" Willow asked.

"Glory killed Buffy," Tara said.

An awkward silence passed.

"That is, of course, true," Giles finally said softly. "And I'm sure we'd all agree that Jinx shares some of the culpability for...."

"But that's just it," Tara interrupted. "It's a little easier for us to accept Jinx, because a lot of things happened that caused...well, the thing is, for us, it's not about Jinx. We blame Glory."

"And you think Spike blames Jinx?" Dawn asked.

"No," Tara said. "I think, maybe, Spike blames himself."

A quiet moment passed while the Scoobies considered Tara's surmisal.

"Guilt is a natural part of the grieving process," Giles said, breaking the silence.

"Hang on," Xander said. "Let's not make this more complicated than it is. Spike's a vampire. If he does weird stuff, I'm pretty much just going to put another tick under the 'vampires-are-weird' column and leave it at that."

"I dunno," Willow said. "He's done some pretty un-vampirey stuff since Buffy died. I mean, patrolling and all."

"Well, he can't kill people," Xander replied. "And he'd find himself in a real pickle if he went out killing demons all by his lonesome. Not killing at all? Not an option for William the Bloody. At the end of the day, I'd say we're all he's got, and he's making the best of it."

"Xander, you remember what he used to be like," Willow said. "Barely a month would go by when he wasn't coming up with some scheme to get out his chip, or squeeze us for money. Now, he's just...helping. I mean, if Buffy hadn't died...."

"But she did," Xander said. "And even if she didn't, he can't really believe he stood a chance with her. Heck, she practically blew her top when she found out about his little...whatever you want to call it."

"That's not how it ended, though," Tara said. "Near the end, they were...well, they were at least getting along."

"And, what?" Xander asked. "Spike got it in his head that signing up for the Anti-Glory brigade was gonna lead to something else?"

"Maybe not," Tara replied. "But that's the thing. He'll never know. That must be tough to deal with. I mean, think about it. Having to live with all those 'what-ifs.' It's kind of sad."

"Denial is also a part of the grieving process," Giles said. "Especially when the circumstances of the loss don't lend themselves to closure."

"That's what I mean," Tara said. "If Buffy had died back when they were still fighting, it would have been one thing. But like this...."

"She cannot fade, though thou hast not thy bliss," Dawn read, staring down at her textbook and following along the words with her pencil. "For ever wilt thou love, and she be fair."

Dawn looked up at Giles. He drew a breath, pursed his lips, and then silently nodded.

"Well, how about that," Dawn mumbled. "I finally got one."

  


A/N: Lines quoted are from John Keats' "Ode on a Grecian Urn." Thanks to Estepheia for help with the dialogue.


	8. Part VII Six Hands at an Open Door Dicin...

Part VII - Six Hands at an Open Door Dicing for Pieces of Silver

  


"Usual?" Charlie asked, shutting the cash register drawer and walking over to the end of the bar.

"Just the bottle, mate," Spike mumbled, tossing a twenty dollar bill on the bar with one hand and sticking a cigarette in his mouth with the other.

Charlie reached back, grabbed a bottle of Bushmills whiskey off the shelf, pulled out the chrome spout, and rested the bottle on the bar.

"Thanks," Spike said through clenched teeth, holding the cigarette between his lips as he fished in his pocket for his lighter. Spike reached for the whiskey with his free hand, but Charlie dragged it back, keeping a tight grip around the neck of the bottle.

"Twenty's not enough," Charlie said. "This ain't a liquor store."

"It's half gone," Spike protested, his eyes narrowing.

"Ten more bucks and it'll be all gone," Charlie replied.

Spike searched Charlie's eyes for a willingness to negotiate. He found none. Spike rolled his eyes, reached into his back pocket, pulled out a wad of bills, and threw two fives on the bar. Charlie released his grasp on the bottle and snatched up the money.

"Your friends are in the back," Charlie said, walking to the register. "That is, the friends you got that DON'T hunt demons. Tell your buddies I don't want 'em out here mingling with the regulars. I gotta reputation to keep up for this place. Don't need no filthy 'balancing' demons dragging the room down."

"Tell you what, Chuck," Spike replied, lighting his cigarette, shoving his lighter into his coat pocket, and picking up the whiskey. "Why don't my demon friends and I find another place to spend our money? That way, my other friends won't have any qualms about clearing this little dive out."

Charlie punched the 'NO SALE' button, dropped the bills into the open drawer, and then slammed the register shut.

"Play your game," Charlie said. "I wouldn't want your girlfriend to break a nail defending your sorry ass."

Spike turned on his heel and walked toward the back room. Normally he wouldn't have let a peon like Charlie get the last word, but the subject had turned to Buffy, and....

....and she was never his girlfriend. And she wouldn't have broken a sweat, let alone a nail, to defend his sorry ass. At least, not until those last few days before she....

"Spike!" Clem cried as Spike entered the storage room. "What took you so long? Me and Eddie have been waiting since eleven."

"Got tied up," Spike said, taking a seat across from Clem and dropping the bottle on the table.

"Great," Eddie sighed, holding a card in one of his four scaled claws, and shaking a die in another. His two lower arms lay folded casually on his stomach. "Yet another wild Thursday night. We've been playing Trivial pursuit for the past hour. And Clem here has been giving me his rather heated opinions regarding some girl named Joey and these two guys who like her."

"Oh, don't get Spike started," Clem said, raising his flabby arms in the air. "He's a big Dawson/Joey 'shipper from way back."

Eddie turned toward Spike, and raised the bumpy ridge where a human would have eyebrows.

"Clem likes it," Spike said, taking a swig from the bottle. "I just watch it when he's over."

"See, I think Joey has more chemistry with Pacey," Clem continued. "But Spike thinks...."

"Dawson and Pacey?" Eddie interrupted. "Jeesh, one person on the show has a normal guy's name, and it's the chick?"

"It's just a show," Spike grumbled.

"See, Spike has this theory," Clem said. "He thinks that Pacey's deluded himself into thinking that Joey really cares for him, but really Joey's just using him for...."

"Look, can we just play the damned game?" Spike growled.

"Sure," Eddie said. "Calm down. What's gotten into you?"

"Sorry," Spike muttered. "Rough night. Bit of a fight, then those stupid gits...look, it's nothing. Let's just get to it."

"Okay," Clem said. "We can start over. We've been playing a quarter a question, a dollar for a pie piece."

"Nah," Spike said, folding up the game board. "Get the cards. I'm in the mood for something a little less wholesome."

"Fine," Eddie said, reaching under the table and grabbing a kitten from a box.

"I'm in," Clem said, leaning down and grabbing his own kitten.

"One of you spot me?" Spike asked, dropping the board into the box. "Charlie really put the screws to me on the bottle."

Clem and Eddie exchanged uneasy glances.

"What?" Spike exclaimed. "I'm good for it!"

"Of course," Clem said, reaching down and grabbing another kitten.

Spike's jaw stiffened as he grabbed the cards and began dealing.

"Five card," Spike said. "Man's poker. No wilds, jacks to open."

"Look, Spike," Eddie said. "Let me know if I'm out of line, but word on the street is you've got a bit of a cash flow problem."

"You're right," Spike said. "You're out of line."

"It's just that we're concerned," Clem said, sweeping his cards towards his chest. "No one's trying to judge you, or give you a hard time. We're your friends. That's why, when we hear that you're into Teeth for ten kittens...."

"Twelve," Spike corrected, looking down at his cards. "But who's counting?"

"Teeth's counting," Eddie replied. "He never stops counting. He's bad news, Spike."

"Yeah, well, times are a bit tight," Spike said. "Things'll turn around."

"I thought you had a pretty good thing going," Clem said. "You know, the whole 'flash-the-vamp-face-and-demand-money' routine?"

"Been a little busy is all," Spike said. "Most nights...well, you know...."

"The Slayer," Eddie finished, sweeping up his cards with two hands, grabbing his beer with another, and drumming his claws thoughtfully with his free hand. "Look, Spike, you're a vampire. Sure, you've got the whole chip thing, and I know how you vamps love a good fight, but still, you've got to make a living."

"Open," Spike said. "Cards?"

"Two," Eddie said. 

Spike dealt two cards toward Eddie.

"I'm good," Clem said, a wide smile crossing his face as he drummed his chubby fingers on the table. Spike glanced quickly at Eddie, and saw that Eddie had seen Clem's tell as clearly as Spike had.

'Oh, Clem,' Spike thought. 'You should never bluff.'

"Dealer takes two," Spike said, drawing a pair of cards from the top of the deck.

"Eddie's right, Spike," Clem said. "I mean, you really have to find something to do. I mean, that job I have on the dock is a pretty sweet deal. At least a couple of nights a week a ship comes in after dark. It pays pretty good. Not human wages, of course, but they don't ask any questions about how you look. I could put in a good word for you, if you're not comfortable stealing while you and the Slayer are working together at...."

"We're not," Spike started. "That is...it's not...I'm not uncomfortable. Don't be stupid."

"You still got a thing for her?" Eddie asked.

"No," Spike said, a bit too quickly. "And does anyone want to raise?"

"Nah, I'm out," Eddie said, tossing his cards on the table.

"Clem?"

"I'm in for another one," Clem said, reaching for a kitten.

"Call," Spike said.

"I dunno, Spike," Clem said, making his best attempt to sound confident. "You really want to borrow another kitten when I'm sitting here with...?"

"You're covered, Spike," Eddie said.

"Beat three eights?" Spike asked, laying his cards on the table.

Clem sighed, and threw his cards face down.

"Leaving the one I borrowed," Spike said, grasping two of the kittens from the table, "I think that puts me two ahead." 

Clem scowled, looking at the last remaining kitten on the table. 

"See, the wheel turns," Spike said, throwing his kittens into a milk crate under the table and taking another drink of whiskey. "Looks like it might be my night."

Spike stopped as he heard footsteps approaching from the bar. 

"There's a guy outside," Charlie said as he entered the back room. "Demon. Never seen him before. Never even seen this kind of demon. Said he wants to come back. Is that a problem?"

"No problem," Clem said. 

"As long as he's got cats," Spike agreed, mashing his spent cigarette into an ashtray.

"Yeah, send him back," Eddie said.

"Whatever," Charlie said, turning and walking out.

"Alright, mates," Spike said. "New player. Get in character."

Spike morphed into his vamp face, as Eddie scowled his brow ridge into a 'v' shape and forced his talons to protrude from his claws. Clem sat up straight, lifting his shoulders to give his bulk as imposing an appearance as possible. None of the three were comfortable, but it was better to be safe than sorry. An unknown demon was the kind of wild card that you didn't find in a deck of cards.

Spike shuffled the cards as he heard scuffling footsteps approaching.

"Game's poker," Spike growled. "Kittens for cards. No credit. And no cheating. Try to pull anything, me and the blokes here will...."

Spike stopped as he turned his head, and saw the demon that was now standing beside him.

"Oh, bollix, it's you," Spike groaned, allowing his face to revert to its human visage.

"Yes," Jinx said. "I noticed you enter the front door, and the gentleman at the front was kind enough to tell me you were back here. I hope I'm not intruding."

"Yeah," Spike muttered. "Well, hope in one hand, and...."

"Play or leave," Clem snarled. "This ain't no coffee shop."

"Oh, a game of chance," Jinx observed.

"Yeah," Eddie said. "And we don't play for toothpicks. So either put a kitten on the table, or take a hike."

"He's leaving," Spike said.

"Yes, perhaps I should go," Jinx said, reaching into one of the folds of his robe. "I do not have any cats. Normally I find that these papers are more useful for purchases."

Jinx pulled out a wad of cash. Eddie and Clem's eyes bulged as they saw that at least three of the bills were hundreds.

"Where'd you get all that?" Spike asked.

"Oh, I bartered away a few of the baubles Glory left behind," Jinx explained. "But since this game requires cats, I'll simply go out and have a club soda at the bar until...."

"Wait a minute!" Clem exclaimed.

"Yeah, hold up," Eddie chimed in. "I mean, I'm sure we can trade you a few kittens for some dough."

"He said he's leaving," Spike said, irritated.

"Oh, the more the merrier," Clem said, grabbing a pair of kittens from under his chair. "One of those hundreds is three calicos. There are five calicos to a Siamese. We'll make change if you need it later."

"Splendid," Jinx said, his face beaming as he took a seat.

"Right," Spike groaned. "Just bloody wonderful."

"My deal," Eddie said, gathering up the cards and shuffling quickly. "Uh, look, um...?"

"My name is Jinx."

"Jinx," Clem repeated, his body relaxing. "Nice to meet you, Jinx."

"Yeah," Spike sighed. "Everyone's saying that lately."

"Normally we just play poker," Eddie said. "You can pick a different game when it's your turn to deal."

"Oh, perhaps I should not deal, then," Jinx responded. "I've never played with these...what do you call them?"

"Cards," Eddie said. "Um...you're saying that you don't know what cards are?"

"No," Jinx admitted. "I've never even seen them before."

Clem and Eddie exchanged subtle glances of delight, and it was only through sheer force of will that Spike kept his slight smile from erupting into a wide, wicked grin. 'Can't kill the bugger,' Spike thought. 'But there's still fun to be had.'

"No problem," Spike said. "Don't give it a second thought. The best way to learn is just have at it. A couple of kittens across the table, and you'll be an old hand."

"Oh, thank you!" Jinx exclaimed.

"What can we say?" Eddie said, exchanging a sly grin with Clem. "We're friendly. Straight poker, no wilds."

Eddie dealt the cards. Clem and Spike slowly reached for their cards, as they observed Jinx make a labored attempt to peel the cards from the table, squinting at the images.

"I'm in!" Clem shouted, tossing a kitten on the table. 

"Same," Spike said, adding his own kitten to the pot. "Your turn."

"Let me see if I understand," Jinx said. "If I wish to continue playing, I must wager a kitten?"

"Well, just this hand," Clem explained. "After we've finished...."

"Absolutely right, mate," Spike interjected, casting a disapproving scowl at Clem. "You want to play, you've got to bet."

"Very well," Jinx said, placing one of the calicos on the table.

"I think I'll stick it out," Eddie said, adding his own bet. "Cards?"

"Two," Clem replied.

"Two," Spike said after Eddie had dealt a pair of cards to Clem.

Spike got his cards, and all eyes turned to Jinx, whose eyes moved from Clem to Spike, and then to his own hand. Jinx pursed his lips, then said:

"Two."

Spike feigned a cough to keep himself from laughing.

"And the dealer takes two," Eddie said, dealing out two cards to Jinx, then two to himself. Eddie would have preferred to draw three, but decided to simply follow the 'I'll-take-two' pattern that Jinx had followed. No sense letting the new guy in on the rules too soon. The night was young, and there were plenty of hundreds left in Jinx's pocket.

"One more," Clem said, putting another kitten on the table.

"One more," Spike said, reaching for a kitten as all eyes turned toward Jinx.

"One more," Jinx said, again doing exactly what Clem and Spike had done.

"One more," Eddie beamed, anticipating a long and profitable night. "Show 'em."

"Two pair," Clem said, enthusiastically dropping his cards.

"Same," Spike said, a wicked grin crossing his face. "Only mine are jacks and fours."

"Too bad," Eddie said. "Three kings. Heh, how about that? Look's like it's my night to...."

"Full house," Jinx interrupted. "Fives over deuces."

Three jaws dropped as Jinx laid his cards on the table.

"Oh, a wonderful beginning!" Jinx said, glancing around the room until his eyes found an empty cardboard box. Jinx grabbed the box, and began gathering his winnings.

"B-b-but," Eddie said. "How...? I mean...you said you never played cards."

"Oh, I haven't," Jinx said, placing the kittens into the box. "But I noticed that the pictures on the papers bore a striking resemblance to the images on the game at another bar I have frequented of late. It's called Willy's."

"Oh, yeah," Clem sighed, watching Jinx gather the cats. "I've been there for chicken fingers."

Jinx scowled, casting a curious glance down at the kitten in his hand.

"No, on the menu," Clem explained.

"Oh, of course," Jinx said. "As I was saying, I often pass the time at Willy's playing the game. You touch a video screen to select the cards you wish to keep. It seems to follow the same principle. It's an odd game. I spent almost five dollars playing before I understood the rules."

"Five bucks," Eddie muttered. "Poor baby."

"Of course, there seem to be a few differences," Jinx continued, stroking the fur of one of the kittens. "There are no kittens involved in that game. The only award for winning a hand is that a picture of a woman on the screen changes as she shifts between various stages of undress."

Jinx paused, stopped petting the kitten, then asked:

"That is not a part of this game, is it? That is, you won't be...?"

"No," Spike grunted.

"Ah," Jinx said. "And I do not have to...?"

"No!" Spike, Clem and Eddie exclaimed in unison.

"Very well," Jinx said, dropping his kitten into the cardboard box. "Especially since I only wear this one article of...."

"Look, Jinx," Spike said. "We like to keep the game going. We don't chit chat."

"We don't?" Clem asked. "Oh, yeah. Right. Anyway, my deal."

Clem swept up the cards, and shuffled as he said:

"Alright, we'll play stud poker. Five card. Two up, three down."

Jinx scowled.

"It's like regular poker," Clem explained, dealing out the cards. "Only you don't get to throw away what you don't want. We deal two cards down that no one but the player gets to look at. The other three are up, so everyone else sees them."

"That doesn't seem like much of a game," Jinx observed. "You can't change your hand, and you can see most of the other players' cards."

"It's what you don't see that's important," Eddie said. "The trick is to figure out what the other guy's got in the hole, based on what he's showing, and how he plays it out."

"When do you see all of the cards?" Jinx asked.

"After all the betting's done," Eddie stated. "Up 'til then, it's anyone's guess."

"Alright," Clem said, dealing up the first of the face cards. "There's a ten for Spike...a six for Jinx...a seven for Eddie...and the dealer gets...a deuce."

"Check," Spike said.

Jinx's eyes narrowed.

"It means I pass," Spike said. "It's early. Too many left to play."

"Oh," Jinx said, peeking at his hidden cards. "Check."

"Check," Eddie echoed.

"And the dealer checks," Clem said, picking up the deck to continue the deal.

"What's with the late night outing?" Spike asked, turning toward Jinx. "Thought you were going to turn in?"

"I was," Jinx said. "But...well, of late I've...I've had some difficulty sleeping."

"Too bad," Spike said.

"And here we go," Clem said. "A queen for Spike...a jack for Jinx...Eddie gets one of Jinx's sixes...and the dealer gets...a four."

"I'm in for one," Spike said, placing a kitten on the table.

Jinx furrowed his brow, then grabbed a kitten and put it next to Spike's.

"I got nothin'," Eddie said, turning over his cards.

"And the dealer's out," Clem said, flipping his cards face down as well.

"See, Spike got the high card," Eddie said to Jinx. "Now, if he's holding...."

"No helping," Spike said, taking a cigarette from his pocket.

"Oh, yeah," Eddie said. "Sorry, pal, but it's for cats."

Jinx smiled in silent understanding.

"So what's with the sleep?" Spike asked Jinx. "Too much Hagen Daas?"

"No," Jinx said, his eyes falling. "I...I've been...dreaming."

Spike shot a sideways glare at Jinx as he lit his cigarette.

"Oh, I hate nightmares," Clem said, shuddering. "You ever have the one where you're walking home, and you look down, and you're completely naked?"

"These are...quite different," Jinx said. "A few months ago...well, my Goddess died. I keep dreaming of that night."

"Ugh," Clem winced. "That must have been horrible."

"It wouldn't be so bad," Jinx said. "But...it's the same every night. It makes me feel so...helpless."

"I know just what you mean," Clem said. "Recurring dreams are the worst."

"No they're not," Spike muttered, exhaling a drag.

Spike's eyes drifted downward, watching the wisps of smoke rise from the tip of his cigarette.

"It's worse when it's different," Spike continued. "When every time...when you get reminded of everything you could have done that might've...of what a bloody idiot you were for not...."

Spike absently turned the cigarette back and forth between his fingers, then shoved it into the ashtray, sat up straight in his chair and said:

"Are we going to play cards, or just talk?"

Eddie looked at Clem. Clem shrugged, then lifted the deck and dealt out the remaining cards.

"Alright, Spike gets a deuce...and Jinx gets...a jack. You've got a pair, Jinx, so you bet."

"I'll bet one," Jinx said, reaching for a kitten.

"Tell you what," Spike said, lifting the milk crate from beneath the table. "I'll see your one, and raise two more."

"I don't understand," Jinx said. "I have the better hand. Why is he raising?"

"He's got a queen showing," Eddie said. "He might have a queen he's not showing."

"So he raised," Jinx said. "Therefore, he must have the queen."

"Or two other deuces," Eddie said. "Or something else. Or nothing. That's the game."

Jinx lifted his hidden cards, took a furtive look at Spike's twinkling expression, and then turned his cards over and said:

"I fold."

Jinx watched as Spike swept the kittens from the table.

"Was it the queen?" Jinx asked.

"No telling," Spike replied, depositing the kittens one by one into the milk crate. "Only way to know is to play it out."

Charlie walked in, interrupting Jinx before he could ask another question.

"Another player," Charlie announced. "I know this one. He's a vamp, but he can behave. Let him in?"

"Fine," Spike said.

Charlie waived an inviting arm, and left as the vampire entered.

"Hey," the vamp said. "Name's Rusty."

A quick look was all it took to figure out the nickname. Corroded metal studs hung loosely off his worn leather jacket.

"Have a seat," Spike said, snatching up the cards for the deal. "We play for kittens."

"Not a problem," Rusty said, grabbing a wallet out of the folds of his jacket. "Good victim tonight. Big bankroll."

"Lucky you," Spike said, seeing the stack of bills as Rusty opened the wallet.

"Anyone know where I can fence the plastic?" Rusty asked. "Cash is a little hard to come by in this town."

"Oh, I certainly agree," Jinx said. "My own stockpile of currency has become depleted much more quickly than I had hoped."

"Until tonight, that is," Eddie grumbled.

"Well, if you're looking for work, I know of a gig," Rusty said, sitting in the chair between Spike and Clem. "If any of you are interested, I can get you signed up. Easy minion sort of thing, for this guy named Orad. He's going after some medallion tomorrow night, and needs some muscle."

Jinx's jaw dropped. He struggled for a response, until Spike said:

"Watch the violent talk, mate. Jinx here is a B'Drozzi balancing demon. Trembles in his sandals at the very mention of a brawl."

Rusty rolled his eyes.

"Hope your little job isn't anywhere 'round St. Francis Cemetery," Spike continued. "Jinx has a mausoleum he's moved into over there. Maybe he should crash somewhere else tomorrow?"

"Nah," Rusty replied. "The heavy stuff's going down clear across town, at the Travers' crypt at Shady Hills. But that work's already full up. This guy's looking for some muscle to pull a diversionary raid over on Revello."

"Revello Drive?" Spike asked. "Off Hadley?"

"Yeah," Rusty said. "There's this girl, some teenager that the local do-gooders have taken under their wing. We're supposed to snatch her there, and swing by a couple of other places if she's not home. If she's with her friends, we keep 'em busy. If not, we grab her, then take her over to the cemetery as a bargaining chip, just in case they show up."

"Sounds a little rough for my blood," Spike said. "And speaking of chips, let's get the game going. It's my deal. New game. Picked it up off a H'Thrak demon in Scranton. It's called Poof."

"Poof?" Rusty said. "Any of you guys ever heard of it?"

Eddie and Clem shrugged in reply.

"It's easy," Spike said, dealing out cards. "And quick. We'll play an open hand, just to get it down. We all get one card up. Look at it, but don't show it."

Each demon peeked at their cards, then turned to Spike.

"Now," Spike said. "We all close our eyes, count ten, and pass the card left. Rusty, is it? Yeah, you're to the dealer's right, so you count it out."

The demons each closed their eyes, as Rusty counted:

"One...two...three...four...five...six...sev...ugggghhh!"

Everyone's eyes sprang open, and saw the wooden stake protruding from Rusty's heart. 

"Poof," Spike said, grabbing a cigarette.

Rusty exploded into a cloud of dust.

"Aw, Jeez, Spike," Clem said, holding a hand to his nose. "He was sitting right next to me!"

"Dammit, Spike!" Eddie said, waiving the air in front of him with two arms, while clapping dust off of his clothes with the others. "Couldn't you at least have gotten his wallet before you staked him? Think of all the cash we're breathing!"

"Enjoy the Trivial Pursuit," Spike said, lighting his cigarette as he rose from his chair. "C'mon, Jinx. We're leaving."

Jinx stood as Spike grabbed his arm and lead him out into the main area of the bar.

"Gotta swing by the Watcher's flat," Spike said, as he glanced over his shoulder, then pulled a brown wallet from the folds of his jacket and thumbed through the bills.

"You got the wallet," Jinx observed.

"Waste not, want not," Spike said. "Turns out this was my night after all. You, go home. Tell Willow she'll be getting a call from Giles later. Then get some rest. Tomorrow's gonna be a late night."

  


a/n: One chapter left, plus an epilogue. Thanks to Estepheia for her input. 


	9. Part VIII Birth or Death?

Part VIII - Birth or Death?

"Not really loving this plan," Xander grumbled, kicking a pebble as he walked down the path towards the Travers crypt.

"I'm not thrilled with it myself," Giles said, walking by his side and tightening his grip on the axe he held by his side.

"It'll be fine," Tara said, following behind. "They'll never see it coming."

"I hope not," Anya replied, resting her baseball bat on her shoulder and squinting ahead toward the crypt, trying to see the entrance in the moonlight. "If not, we're a few hands short for nothing."

"My part of the plan will definitely work," the Buffybot chimed in. "The evil vampires will be no match for my Slayer skills!"

"Of course, My Goddess," Jinx agreed.

"Hold up," Giles said, stopping as the entrance to the tomb became visible in the distance.

Tara, Anya, Jinx and the Buffybot stood behind Giles as Xander took a few more steps forward.

"Yeah, that's the one," Xander said, gesturing toward the mausoleum with the crossbow he held in his left hand. "You can see the marks on the door where Willow and I tried to chop it down."

"And the windows?" Giles asked.

"Also a no-go," Xander responded. "We hacked away at every possible entrance, but this blue glowy barrier would keep popping up. Willow tried a couple of spells, but whatever kind of a magic barrier is keeping the place shut tight, it held up."

"There are some spells that specifically take down protection magicks," Tara said. "But we'll need a couple of days researching to find the right one."

"And unfortunately we don't have days," Giles said. "However, it is unlikely that our adversaries haven't found a solution to this problem. We'll need to make a stand tonight."

"I still say we should have shipped Dawn off to Janice's," Xander said.

"She wouldn't go," Tara said. "She didn't want Janice to be in danger, and she's probably right. These guys obviously know a lot more about us than we thought. Anywhere she'd go, they still could find her."

"And protecting her would just leave us spread thinner than we are now," Anya added.

"I still don't like it," Xander said. "Dawn's...."

Xander caught himself as he glanced toward Jinx and the Buffybot.

"She's Buffy's sister," Xander said, lowering his voice. "You know what I mean, right? You know what...what Buffy would feel if anything...."

"Dawn is my sister," the Buffybot said, in a loud voice. "Any demon that tries to harm her will face me!"

"And me!" Jinx added.

Xander swallowed hard as Anya and Tara's eyes dropped. 

"I understand what you're saying, Xander," Giles said. "But we don't have a lot of choices in this particular...."

'Head's up,' Willow's voice echoed in the Scoobies' minds.

"Gyah!" Xander yelped, shuddering as the voice reverberated in his head. "Give us some warning before you do that."

'I said 'head's up,' didn't I?' Willow's voice answered. 'What am I supposed to do? Say 'head's up, I'm going to say 'head's up?' That's stupid.'

"Well, you could at least start out with whispery-toned thoughts," Xander said.

'Shut up, Xander,' Willow's voice growled. 'They're coming. Start heading toward the tomb.'

"Alright," Xander said. "Jeesh, she's grouchy tonight."

"I think it's the disguise," Tara explained. "Pancake makeup can get really hot."

"Could be the boots," Anya supposed. "They can't be comfortable. Do you think we overdid it?"

"We're about to find out," Giles replied. "They're here."

A large group of vampires approached from the path behind the Scoobies, while another group came from the front. Giles counted at least a dozen surrounding vampires, and one humanoid demon standing directly in the center of the path, scowling his purple-skinned face.

"So you're the ones who've been causing me so much trouble," the demon snarled.

"You must be Orad," Giles surmised.

"Huh," Anya said. "I thought Prythh demons were more wrinkled."

"I've had work done," the demon explained. "Now, why don't you turn around before I have my boys here shred you to bits?"

"You underestimate our power," Giles said. "I would think you'd have a bit more respect for our resolve, given the fate your other minions have suffered."

"I'm not leaving without my medallion," the demon insisted.

"Well, then, you'll have to get past us," Xander said, trying to sound as confident as possible. As it stood, they were well outnumbered, and there was no way to know if Orad had forces kept in reserve. They'd need an advantage....

"Might want to stand down, human," Spike said, emerging from the woods with Dawn and Willow. Spike held a firm grasp on Dawn's left arm, while Willow, clad in leather pants and a red satin bustier, held the other.

"Oh, my sister!" the Buffybot exclaimed. "You foul vampires! You have captured my sister and now I can do nothing but surrender!"

"Uh...that's right!" Willow said, trying to draw attention away from the Buffybot. "Give it up, Slayer, or I'll eat your sister, in the blood-sucking-for-nourishment sense of the word."

"Buffy, please don't let them hurt me!" Dawn cried, struggling against the grasp of Willow and Spike. She knew (from bitter experience) that hostages often struggled in vain against their captors, so she figured it would look realistic. Also, it gave her a reason to twist her arms, which she hoped would conceal the white smudge on her jacket where some of Willow's makeup had smeared.

"Alright, you three," Spike said, gesturing toward a trio of vampires. "C'mon over here, and help us get this girl tied up."

The three vampires began walking over toward Spike, until their leader shouted:

"Hold it!"

The purple skin around the demon's eyes narrowed as he squinted to look at his 'minions.'

"I don't remember you two," the demon said.

"Rusty signed us up," Spike answered. "A little last minute muscle. Poor bugger got dusted while we were fetching the little bit here."

"Rusty didn't show. He's been MIA since last night."

"That's how we met," Spike continued. "Ran into him at a poker game. Had a bit too much to drink, poor bugger. Woke up this afternoon on the floor of the men's room, whining about how he was going to miss this job. Said if I got him sobered up, he'd let me and the bird tag along for a share of the payoff."

The demon furrowed his brow as he considered this. 

"Well, move it," Spike said, turning to the three vampires. "The girl's not going to tie herself up, is she?"

The three vampires exchanged glances, then continued walking toward Spike. Their leader started to object, then stopped considering whether to believe Spike's story.

'Spike, I don't think he's buying it,' Willow thought.

'He doesn't have to for long,' Spike thought in reply. 'Just long enough to get the drop on a few of his toadies.'

"Alright, kid," one of the vampires said as he stood before Dawn. "Just do what we say, and you won't get hurt."

"Is that ever true?" Dawn asked.

"Well, no," the vamp admitted. 

"He's right," the second vampire agreed, as his mouth curled into a sinister grin. "It just means you won't get hurt right now. But sooner or later, you get hurt. Killed, usually."

"Wait a minute," the third vamp mumbled. "I know you two."

Willow studied the vampire's face, and realized that the recognition was mutual. This vamp had ruby ring hanging from his right ear, and a nasty scar running down his left cheek.

The same scar Willow had noticed on the vampire that had escaped the cemetery the night Jinx appeared.

The vamp opened his mouth to shout out a warning, but then heard one of his companions cry out first. He turned, and saw the look of horror on the vamp's face. The sharp end of a stake was buried in his companion's chest. Dawn held a tight grip on the other end, staring into the vampire's eyes as he disintegrated.

"Guess sometimes you don't get hurt," Dawn declared, shaking the dust from her arm.

The vampires turned in realization, but one found himself falling to the ground after Spike's elbow connected with his chin, while the other stood in pain as he felt Willow's hand touch his chest and heard her exclaim:

"Succenda!"

The vamp staggered backwards, clutching at his chest as he felt a rising warmth inside his body burn hotter and hotter, until his clothes burst into flame.

"Get them!" the leader shouted.

The vampires turned to face Willow and Spike, but then stopped in their tracks as they saw one of their number grasp at an arrow in his chest, and collapse into dust.

"Next!" Xander shouted, running forward and ramming the butt of the crossbow into another vamp's stomach, while Anya slammed her bat against another vampire's head.

"Procella!" Tara shouted, gesturing both arms toward a pair of approaching vamps. A green mist erupted from Tara's fingertips, engulfing the vampires and lifting them away into the forest.

Giles leapt between Jinx (who was wrestling a vampire to the ground) and the Buffybot (who had pummeled another vampire into a stupor). He reached the leader and swung his axe, but before the blow could connect, the demon had grasped the handle of the axe and began to wrest it from Giles' grasp. Giles released one hand from the axe and delivered a punch to the demon's face. As the demon reeled backward, Giles lifted his axe to bury it in the demon's chest, but before he could bring down the blade, he caught a glimpse of a stain on the knuckles of his other hand.

At first, Giles thought it was blood. But looking closer, Giles noticed that the smeared substance reflected oddly in the moonlight. He glanced down at the demon, and saw a streak of white across the its face.

A face that now bore the unmistakable ridges and golden eyes of a vampire.

"Makeup," Giles muttered to himself. "Seems we're not the only clever ones."

Giles turned toward the tomb in the distance, and saw a silhouette scurry toward the door. He began to run toward the shadowy figure, but was tackled from his left side, and found himself wrestling with the "leader."

"It's a decoy!" Giles shouted, as he shifted his weight to get the vampire off balance. "Get to the tomb!"

Willow had pinned a vampire to the ground with telekinesis, but released the struggling vamp as she glanced toward the mausoleum. She saw the shadow cast a fine powder on the door, and heard a raspy voice shout:

"Excidi!"

A blue light shimmered around the tomb, then slowly faded. The shadow opened the door and disappeared inside.

Willow dropped her hand and gathered energy for a spell, but fell as the vampire she had released grasped her ankles and pulled her to the ground.

"Everybody!" Willow hollered, as she scratched at the vampire's face. "Get to the medallion! He's in!"

The Buffybot heard the cry as she thrust a stake into the heart of a vampire. When the vampire had dissolved into dust, the robot paused and scanned her surroundings. Xander was trying to maneuver a stake into the chest of a vamp, as Anya beat it around the head with her bat. Giles had gained the advantage on the vampires' "leader" with a choke hold, but could not safely release it. Two vampires were tangled in a web of weeds that Tara controlled with an incantation. Spike was pinned between two other vampires, keeping them at bay with quick kicks and punches, waiting for an opportunity to dust them.

That left Jinx, who had just torn the head off of a vampire. As the head crumbled and the dust fell between Jinx's fingers, the Buffybot bolted for the mausoleum and yelled:

"Jinx! To the tomb! Time to slay!"

"Of course, my Goddess," Jinx said, hurrying after the robot.

The robot reached the tomb and kicked the door wide open. She ran in, with Jinx following close behind. As she entered, she saw a short, purple demon lifting a shiny metal disc out of an open sarcophagus.

"Stay back!" Orad shouted. "I have the medallion. One touch and you're both history!"

"You are lying," the Buffybot declared. "Willow explained the ritual to me. You have not had time to anoint yourself with the oil or burn the incense. You are powerless. Surrender, demon!"

"Oh, c'mon!" Orad pleaded. "I've spent twenty years looking for this thing. Look, we can make a deal. I'll leave Sunnydale. You'll never see me again."

"The Goddess Buffy has ordered you to surrender," Jinx said gravely. "You may not dishonor Her Most Wondrous Immortality with your foul disobedience."

"You don't get it!" Orad implored. "I'm a Prythh! We're weak. This medallion, it's power. I've spent the last hundred years serving demons who treated me like garbage. Do you know what that's like? Always groveling? Always bowing before any half-wit demon who can break me in half? With this, I can be strong! I can be somebody! I'll never have to answer to anyone ever again!"

"You talk too much," the Buffybot said, walking up to Orad and punching him in the stomach. "How can I make a good quip when you talk about so much stuff at once?"

The robot grasped Orad's head and wrenched it with a quick jerk. The sound of snapping bone echoed through the tomb as the demon's body slumped to the ground.

"Now there's an interesting TWIST!" the Buffybot declared.

Jinx approached Orad's corpse, knelt beside it, and gingerly lifted the medallion from the body's limp hands.

"We did it!" the robot declared. "We got the medallion, defeated the demons, and saved the day!"

"This medallion," Jinx said, gazing at the inscriptions on the amulet, and tenderly twisting the braided chain connected to it. "It is an object of great power."

"Yes, it is," the Buffybot agreed. "This is why we fight. Powerful magic can be dangerous."

"Very," Jinx said. "Whoever possesses this would be a mighty force indeed. All creatures would bow before the bearer of such a weapon."

"Absolutely," the robot concurred. "Willow and Giles will know what to do with it."

"Oh, I don't think that they need to be consulted," Jinx said, rising from the floor. "There is only one fitting use for this talisman."

The Buffybot watched as Jinx opened the clasp of the chain. A wide smile crossed Jinx's face as he declared:

"For you, My Goddess."

Jinx reached around the Buffybot's head and secured the necklace around her neck.

"Now," Jinx said, turning to Orad's body. "Let us see if this foul creature had any matches."

--------------------------------------

"Is that all of them?" Xander asked, his eyes searching the surrounding forest.

"It appears so," Giles surmised. "If there were any others, they surely would have attacked or retreated by now."

"Looks like the diversion worked pretty well," Anya said.

"I told you I could do it," Dawn said. "Hey, I think that was my first dusting!"

Spike scowled.

"No offense to present company," Dawn added.

"You're getting pretty good and the whole 'pretend vampire' routine, Will," Xander said.

"I'll just be glad to get out of this outfit," Willow replied. "I almost came out of it a couple of times already. That one vamp might have had me, if he hadn't been distracted when my top bunched up and he found himself with a facefull of my left...."

"Hey, where's the 'bot?" Xander asked.

"She went after the medallion," Tara said. "I saw her and Jinx run toward the tomb."

"Think she got there in time?" Anya asked.

"Well, seeing as we don't have a purple demon out here trying to hoover out our lifeforces, I'd say yes," Spike said, lighting a cigarette.

"Oh, there she is," Dawn said, pointing toward a clearing to the left of the tomb. "She's...what's she doing?"

"It looks like...like she's pacing," Tara observed.

"Pacing?" Xander repeated. "Do robots pace?"

The Scoobies exchanged nervous glances, then ran en masse to the Buffybot. They surrounded her, but the robot kept pacing, oblivious to their presence, mumbling:

"...all the zeros and all the ones and and still all the ones don't stop the zeros from being zeros and I see the zeros and the ones and they are not zeros and they are not ones but that is all I see because that is all I can see and understand and remember but the zeros and ones I remember are not real they are lies and the zeros lie and the ones lie and...."

"Buffybot?" Willow asked, taking a careful step toward the robot and reaching out her hand.

The Buffybot recoiled and swatted Willow's hand away. The robot's eyes were wide and wild, and she seemed unable to remain still, taking half-steps in every direction.

"Please do not touch me!" the robot exclaimed. "The sensors on the substance which is not skin send zeros and ones to my processor which inform me of my surroundings and I do not wish for the zeros and the ones to provide this data to me because I find my surroundings unpleasant when I know that the zeros and the ones are not...."

"Buffy, stop it!" Willow yelled. "What is it? Tell me what's wrong."

"Willow," the Buffybot said.

"What?" Willow asked.

In a small, quiet voice, the robot said:

"Help me."

"It's okay," Willow said, slowly reaching for the robot. "I...I only need to touch you for a second. Then it'll be okay. I promise."

The Buffybot closed its eyes and dropped its head. Willow rested her hand on the robot's neck, then flipped open a panel, felt inside with her fingers, and hit the power cutoff switch. The robot's face showed an eerie stillness as its body fell limp to the ground.

Willow knelt beside the robot, checking for damage. The other Scoobies, their faces ashen and stunned, stared down at the Buffybot's body as it lay motionless, its arms and legs haphazardly contorted.

"Anya," Willow said. "I've got a bag stashed in that bush we hid behind back at the clearing. My PDA is in it. Get it."

Anya turned and dashed for the clearing.

"And hurry!" Willow shouted.

"Jesus," Xander muttered. "What happened to her?"

"I'm working on it," Willow said.

"Is she going to be okay?" Dawn asked, a hint of tears in her voice.

"I don't know," Willow admitted. "I need to see what...I just need to check her out."

"God," Xander said. "That was just...I mean, I know it's just a machine, but seeing her like that, it just brought it all back, you know? It was like watching Buffy...."

Xander stopped as Dawn let out a soft sob.

"Sorry," Xander said. "Look, it'll be fine."

"Willow," Giles said. "I don't know a thing about computers, but have you ever seen...?"

"No," Willow said. "Something's wrong. I don't see any damage, but...she smell's funny."

"Maybe it's inside?" Xander speculated. "You know, maybe she burned out a tube?"

"No," Willow said. "It doesn't smell like smoke. It's kinda sweet. Wait a minute."

Willow turned the robot's lifeless head. An oily substance on the robot's forehead reflected in the moonlight. Willow reached inside the Buffybot's blouse, and pulled out a metal disc. She yanked the medallion from its chain, and handed it to Xander.

"Is that what I think it is?" Willow asked.

"It looks just like the picture," Xander replied.

The gang turned as Anya came running up and handed a black satchel to Willow.

"Thanks," Willow said, pulling her PDA from the bag, and and sticking a cord from the device into the opening behind the robot's neck.

"Why would the robot be wearing the medallion?" Xander asked.

"Giles, look," Tara said, gesturing to a spot on the ground a few feet away. The Scoobies turned, and saw a heap of white feathers laying in the grass.

"It's a bird," Xander said, walking up to the lifeless creature and poking it with the tip of his shoe. "It's dead."

"Oh, god," Giles uttered, removing his glasses.

"What?" Xander asked.

"The medallion," Giles said. "The bearer absorbs the life from whatever creature it touches. The robot must have drained the bird."

"How did that happen?" Xander questioned. "I mean, where would the robot get the idea to put on the...?"

Xander stopped as he saw everyone turning to look at a tree in the far corner of the cemetery. Underneath, Jinx sat with his legs crossed, his back to the tomb and his head hanging low.

"Of course," Xander grumbled.

"This can't be right," Willow said, scrolling through the data on her PDA. "The code, it's all...it's changed."

"The energy from the bird," Xander said. "It must have, I dunno, zapped the robot. Messed everything up, like when lightning screws up your computer."

"That's not it," Willow said, scowling at the screen. "That would make the code blank, or scrambled. This...there are patterns here. I don't know what it means, but it's like the robot's programming was rewritten."

"It changed her," Giles said.

"Oh, no," Tara gasped.

"You mean, this medallion turned the robot into a bird?" Anya asked.

"The bird was a living being, Anya," Giles explained. "And like all living beings, it had a sense of awareness, a sense of self."

"The robot touched the bird, and it became...alive?" Xander asked.

"I doubt that's possible," Giles said. "But perhaps...perhaps the robot acquired a true understanding of what it means to be alive."

"And of what it means to not be alive," Tara continued. 

The group looked down at the open, wide eyes of the robot. The look from those eyes had always appeared amiable and eager. Now, there was...nothing.

"Brother," Anya sighed. "No wonder she freaked. That must have been a lot to figure out all at once."

"Yeah," Dawn whispered.

A silence hung in the air, until Xander said:

"Hey, Giles? This medallion, it's one of those evil things can't fall into the wrong hands, right?"

Xander clenched the medallion, then forcefully dropped the medallion to the ground and crushed it under his heel. A spark of blue electricity crackled, then fizzled away.

Xander gave the pieces a frustrated kick, drew a deep breath, then said:

"So, what about the 'bot? I mean, how can we...?"

"The backup," Willow said. "I've got a backup of her memory at home. I can plug her in, reset her whole system to where it was a couple of weeks ago. She won't remember anything. She'll be just like she was. Good as new. That'll fix everything, right?"

No one answered.

"It's just...ugh," Xander grunted. "I mean, I know she's not really...I mean, it's not a person. But to see her like that. I can't imagine what she must have been feeling."

"You start out scared," Dawn said, her voice soft, her words deliberate. "Then you get angry. Then it really hits you. How everything you...believed...everything you are...how it's all just...."

Dawn paused for a forced swallow, then added:

"And sometimes you cut yourself. Guess she skipped that."

Dawn's eyes clenched shut as she buried her face in her hands.

Spike stood a few feet back from the group, his lips pursed tightly as he drew smoke from his cigarette. His eyes shifted between Dawn and the slumped body of the robot. He then dropped his cigarette to the ground, walked over to Giles, and grabbed the axe from the Watcher's hand.

"Borrow this a minute, Rupert?" Spike said. "I'm gonna go have a little chat with Jinxy-boy."

"Spike," Giles said. "I understand your...."

"Just be a minute," Spike continued. "Or an hour. Or a day. Don't really have a schedule."

"Spike, don't," Dawn muttered.

"Sorry, Nibblet," Spike said. "But this has been put off for too long."

"He didn't mean it," Willow argued. "It was an accident!"

"I suppose that just makes it all right as rain, then!" Spike roared.

"What good will it do?" Anya protested. "He'll just regenerate."

"Oh, bother!" Spike shouted. "Then I'll have to go to all the trouble of choppin' the little bugger up again? Perish the thought!"

"That's just your answer to everything!" Xander shouted.

"Don't start, Harris," Spike growled.

"Hey, I'm as angry as you are!" Xander yelled.

"Then get off your ass and....!"

"Alright, that's enough!" Tara exclaimed.

The group turned stunned at Tara's uncharacteristic outburst.

"Wait here," Tara said evenly. "I've got an idea."

Tara turned and walked toward the tree across the clearing.

As she approached the tree, she saw Jinx drawing tiny circles in the dirt with the tip of his finger.

"Hey, Jinx," Tara said, crouching down beside the demon.

Jinx remained silent for a moment, then muttered:

"I hurt her, didn't I?"

"A little," Tara said. "But she'll be okay."

"That's not supposed to happen," Jinx whispered. "She is my Goddess. I thought...I don't...."

"She'll be fine," Tara repeated. "She's a god. What could you do to her that could be so bad?"

"That is good to know," Jinx answered softly.

Tara turned and sat beside Jinx. She joined Jinx in staring at the ground for a bit, then said:

"Of course, you know you don't belong here, right?" Tara asked. "I mean, you realize that now, don't you?"

Jinx raised his head, sighed, then replied:

"I have suspected for some time that my presence was...unnecessary."

"It's alright," Tara said. "You did your best, but it just didn't work out. Buffy's a strange god. She's special, and it takes a particular kind of creature to be her minion. That's why she pretends to be a person. If everyone knew she was a god, she'd have all kinds of beings coming around to worship her, and she'd have to send most of them away. So she keeps it a secret, so they won't be disappointed."

"I see."

"You know, Jinx," Tara continued. "That's probably the best thing you can do for her. I mean, if you really want to honor your goddess, it would be best if you were to keep what you know to yourself. You know, the whole 'coming back from the dead' thing? It's best if you don't tell anyone about that. Can you do that for her?"

"Of course," Jinx agreed. "It is the least I can do."

Tara sighed in relief.

"Well, then," Tara said. "Everything worked out for the best."

Jinx drew a long breath.

"I know it's hard," Tara said.

"Yes," Jinx replied. "I know that it is not important if...that it is of no consequence whether...."

A single tear ran down Jinx's face. He swallowed, cast his eyes toward the night sky, then wailed:

"What is to become of me?"

"It'll be fine," Tara assured him. "You'll find another goddess. One that suits you."

"No," Jinx mumbled. "I failed Glory. I failed Buffy. There is nothing for me."

"That's not true," Tara argued. "You just haven't found the right god yet. You will. Sometimes it takes awhile, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It just means you're special. There's a place for everybody, and I'll bet that one of these days, when you least expect it, you'll find a god that's better for you than any you ever imagined."

"Do you really think so?"

Tara smirked, rested a reassuring hand on Jinx's shoulder, and said:

"Jinx, I'm a lesbian hillbilly. I know a little something about being a misfit."

Tara's eyes fell, then drifted slowly to the Scoobies across the clearing.

"We're all misfits, really," Tara said wistfully. "Every one of us. I guess that's what Buffy gave us. Someplace to belong. Something to fight for, to believe in. It's hard to imagine us fitting in anywhere else, but somehow we all found a way to fit together. We're lucky, really."

Tara turned back to Jinx, and said:

"Sometimes I think we forget just how lucky we are."

"You are truly blessed," Jinx said. 

He took a deep breath, and then stood up.

"I should go," Jinx said. "Do you think it would dishonor My Godde...that is, would it dishonor Buffy if I were to leave without bidding her farewell? I just...I do not know if I can face...."

"It's fine," Tara said, rising to her feet. "She told me it was okay. She said, 'Jinx has to find his place in this world, and you tell him to get out there right away and hop to it.' Those were her exact words."

"You are very kind," Jinx said.

"Thank you," Tara said. "Goodbye, Jinx."

"Goodbye," Jinx said. 

Jinx cast a final look toward the Scoobies, then turned and shuffled away into the darkness.

Tara watched until Jinx disappeared into the forest, then turned and returned to the gang.

"It's taken care of," Tara said. "He's leaving, and he won't tell anybody about Buffy."

"Yeah, right," Spike said, rolling his eyes. 

"Hey," Willow exclaimed. "If she says it's taken care of, it's taken care of."

"And how do we know he can be trusted?" Spike argued.

"I don't see you coming up with a better idea," Xander sneered. "So why don't...?"

"Everybody shut up!" Tara yelled. "Just...cut it out. Not now. Bicker all you want tomorrow, but...not now."

The Scoobies paused, wondering what had transpired between Tara and Jinx to warrant yet another outburst from Tara, but the look on Tara's face made it clear that she had no interest in explaining herself.

"Well, anyway," Anya said. "All's well that ends well. At least we don't have to worry anymore about Jinx spilling the beans."

"Would still have rather had a more permanent solution to the problem," Spike muttered.

"Like what?" Xander asked. "Anything you do to the guy's body, it just fixes itself. We could have researched 'til doomsday, and where were we gonna find a way to make something just stop being alive?"

Xander saw Spike's face go blank. Spike snorted, and shook his head. Xander looked at the rest of the group, and saw them staring at him, their mouths agape.

"What?" Xander asked.

Giles drew a breath and gestured toward the ground at Xander's feet. Xander looked down, saw the motionless body of the white bird laying among the broken pieces of the amulet, and said:

"Oh. Um...oops?"


	10. Epilogue In the Old Dispensation

Epilogue - In the Old Dispensation

"And...strike!"

Xander backed away from the lane and strutted up to the table where Anya sat with his parents.

"Nice frame," Anya said.

"Yeah," Tony Harris slurred, as he lifted a beer bottle to his mouth. "Just like his old man."

"Really," Jessica Harris replied, reaching for her wine glass. "So I guess he worked on his bowling game during his many bouts of unemployment?"

"Maybe," Tony mumbled. "Or maybe he just joined a night league, since there wasn't a whole hell of a lot to come home to after sundown."

"Okay!" Xander shouted over the noise of crashing pins. "What say we call it a night?"

"Nah," Tony replied. "There's still another hour of cheap bowling. Your turn, Jess."

Jessica rolled her eyes, stood up, and walked over to the lane. Xander took her seat at the table.

"So," Tony said, turning to Anya. "I hear this is a little farewell celebration for you."

"Just for a couple of days," Anya replied, wiping a napkin back and forth across the table, trying to rub out a dried soda stain which kept sticking to her sleeve. "I have to go get an...item I ordered for our store."

"Oh, yeah," Tony said. "The 'Oogidie-Boogidie' shop you work at. You know, back in my day, women didn't have 'careers' and whatnot."

"Mine too," Anya said.

"Of course, the men DID have careers," Jessica called back, hefting her bowling ball from the return. "Gee, Tony, I guess you're more progressive than I thought."

"Well, maybe nothing like what you did before we were married," Tony shot back. "Did I ever tell you kids about my lovely wife's exciting foray into the food service industry? It's amazing how far ahead you can go, with nothing but a little gumption, a will to achieve...and a blouse that's missing the top four buttons."

A loud crack echoed through the bowling alley as Jessica lobbed her bowling ball and it crashed to the floor.

"Nice follow through, sweetheart," Tony said.

Anya clenched the ring box that sat in her pants pocket. She'd convinced Xander that, the Scoobies aside, there was no reason not to tell his parents that they were engaged. Xander had agreed that they could make the announcement, either at dinner or bowling afterwards, before his parents had the chance to get drunk and and start arguing. Mr. and Mrs. Harris showed up to the restaurant already drunk, and already arguing.

Of course, Anya could not remember a time when they'd shown up anywhere in any other state.

"Dammit!" Jessica shouted. "The alley's jammed!"

"Well, hit the 'reset' button!" Tony yelled back.

"What do you think I've been doing?" Jessica replied.

Tony grunted, stood up, and stormed over to the lane.

"The folks are in rare form tonight," Xander sighed. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault," Anya said.

"It's just, I know you wanted to, you know, tell them. About us."

"I wanted," Anya said tersely. 

"That's not what I meant," Xander said.

"Really? Could've fooled me."

"Look, I'm not trying to...."

Xander was interrupted by the sound of Tony Harris slamming his hand against the top of the ball return. He pointed an accusing finger at Jessica, who leaned in toward him scowling.

Xander took as deep a breath as he dared, given the stench of cigarettes and stale beer. He glanced over toward Anya, who shifted uncomfortably in her hard plastic chair. He let his hand drop to his side, and reached a tentative finger for her palm. She responded by opening her own hand, and entwining her fingers in his. Anya looked back at Xander, smiled weakly, and shrugged.

The couple sat back in their chairs, waiting for Xander's parents to run out of steam.

----------------------------

"Vino de Madre."

Willow looked up from her book as she realized that she'd spoken those words out loud. She saw Tara behind the counter glance over to the table in curiosity. Willow held up her hand in a reassuring gesture, so Tara continued talking with her customer.

Willow read the text again. The requirements were very clear about "The Wine of the Mother." What it was. What it meant. What she'd have to do.

It seemed foolish. It had been a long time since Willow could call herself squeamish. Five years of patrolling the Hellmouth had exposed Willow to more slimes, biles and excretions than most people could imagine. She'd experimented with every bathroom cleanser on the market, just to get the technicolor stains out of her tub. She'd killed a few demons, watched even more die, and had reached the point where she could go out afterward for a pizza.

But this was different. This was just an animal. A deer.

Willow remembered when her Hall Monitor discovered Miss Kitty Fantastico, and she had to listen to every word of the University's 'no pets in the dorm' policy. She eventually found a new home for the kitten, but only after she'd checked references, given the couple required reading, and had a good long cuddle session with the cat, whispering words of assurance and affection, and ultimately breaking down into tears.

The disciples of Osiris were apparently not so sentimental.

'I can do this,' Willow thought, closing her eyes. 'I have to. It's such a small thing, for such a great thing. And once it's done, it'll all be worth it.'

Over at the counter, Tara scowled down at the order form the customer had handed over.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Langford," Tara said. "I'm not the one who took the order, but it seems pretty clear that the delivery was set for next week."

"But that's not what I was TOLD," Ms. Langford insisted, glaring at Tara over the rim of her glasses. "I told the woman at the counter that I needed the book by today, and she told me it would not be a problem."

"You probably spoke with Anya," Tara said. "She's not here, and neither is the owner. I'm just kind of filling in. It's just that the order slip has a space for rush orders, so I don't know...."

"May I please speak with your manager?" Ms. Langford asked, although her tone suggested that it was not a request.

"I-I-I'm afraid there's no one else here," Tara replied. "But the owner will be here tomorrow morning as soon as...."

"I can't wait until tomorrow morning!" Ms. Langford said, her voice becoming increasingly shrill. "There must be someone here who can help me NOW!"

"I'm s-s-s-sorry," Tara stammered. "I'm doing everything I...."

"Look, you obviously don't know what your doing," Ms. Langford growled. "If you're too incompetent to help me, then get me someone who at least has some idea of...!"

"I can help you," Willow called from the table.

Tara and Ms. Langford turned to look at Willow. 

"You need to come back tomorrow," Willow said.

"Will you be open at nine o'clock?" Ms. Langford asked pleasantly.

Tara's jaw dropped in amazement at Ms. Langford's sudden shift in demeanor. 

"We'll be open at eight thirty," Willow said. "You can wait until then, right?"

"Oh, of course," Ms. Langford agreed. "It's nothing urgent. I usually make a big production out of minor things because it makes me feel important."

"But you see now why that's wrong?" Willow suggested.

"Absolutely," Ms. Langford responded. "I look forward to treating everyone with the same respect that I'd want. The fact that the other children in grammar school made fun of my thick glasses will no longer be an excuse for my insensitive behavior. I'm an adult, and from now on I'll behave that way."

"Best of luck with that," Willow said.

Ms. Langford turned toward Tara, flashed an amiable grin, then walked to the door and out of the shop.

Tara looked at Willow, her mind full of questions, but found her answers before she could get out a word. Willow absently twirled a flowery sprig between her thumb and index finger. Willow smiled slyly, winked, then returned to her reading.

"Excuse me, Miss?"

"Huh?" Tara gasped. She returned her focus to the counter, and saw a teenager standing before her, holding a sculpted crucible in his hands.

"Would this make a good ashtray?" the kid asked. "My uncle's birthday is next week, and he smokes cigars, so would this work?"

"Oh, uh, yeah," Tara said. 

"Cool," the kid replied. "I'll take it."

"Um, right," Tara said, taking a wary look at Willow before asking:

"Cash or charge?"

-------------------------------------------

"Taste my stake, vampire!" the Buffybot exclaimed, spinning around and thrusting her fist into the empty air.

The robot stood back from the mirror, turned a bit to her left, then repeated:

"Taste my stake, vam...ppfftthhhh!"

The Buffybot spat out the strands of hair that had whipped around into her mouth.

"Um, Buffybot?" Dawn asked, slowly entering the bedroom. "Is everything okay?"

"There are no vampires here," Buffy said. "You are safe. I am pretending that there are vampires here, so I can practice my fighting moves and my quips. But my silken blond hair keeps getting the way. I wish Willow had fixed that during the three weeks I was asleep for repairs."

"Yeah," Dawn muttered. "That would have been nice. Um, I'll just let you get back to it."

"Thank you!" the Buffybot said, turning to face the mirror again.

Dawn turned to leave the room, but paused, then said:

"Maybe I can help."

"How can you help?" the robot asked. "I thought only Willow understood my programming?"

"Not that way," Dawn said. "I thought I could help with the hair thing. Buffy...the other Buffy...she used to pull her hair back, to get it out of the way."

The Buffybot looked in the mirror, then grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked it straight backwards.

"But this leaves me with just one hand," the 'bot protested, her head tilted toward the ceiling. "How can I slay like this?"

"No, silly," Dawn said, trying not to giggle. "I mean with a band or something. Here, have a seat."

Dawn walked over to the desk in front of the mirror and pulled back the chair. The Buffybot sat down and stared at her image. Dawn opened one of the drawers and grabbed a hairbrush.

"You know," Dawn said, dragging the brush down the back of the robot's hair. "When I was younger, the other Buffy taught me how to braid. We used to get up early on Saturday mornings and make french braids in each other's hair. I mean, we hadn't done it in a long time when she...well, it was something we used to do together."

"That is a very sweet story," the Buffybot said.

"Thanks," Dawn said, allowing herself to smile.

"This new hairdo will not make me less pretty, will it?" the 'bot asked. "Spike likes my hair to be long and flowing, especially when I straddle his...."

"Buffybot," Dawn said, reaching for a barrette. "Remember what Willow told you?"

"Oh, yes," the robot replied. "I am not supposed to talk about Spike's sexy bod, his piercing eyes, his long, hard...."

"Yep!" Dawn interrupted. "That's the rule."

"Willow often has to remind me," the Buffybot said. "It's strange. Willow tells me things, and I try to remember. But then other things...older things...suddenly they just...Willow explained it, but...I really don't understand."

"Hey, no big," Dawn said, running the brush across one side of the robot's hair. "Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome, that just means you're a Summers girl."

"Of course I am!" the Buffybot proclaimed. "I am Buffy Summers, and you are Dawn Summers. We are sisters!"

"Yeah," Dawn whispered, gathering a handful of the robot's hair in her hand. "That's us."

--------------------------------

"Rupert!" Giles heard Parsons exclaim through the telephone. "Good to hear from you, old boy. Are you well?"

"Quite well," Giles replied into the receiver. "How is the wedding coming along?"

"Oh, it's a nightmare," Parsons sighed. "Claire's sister has declared that she won't eat a bite until she can fit into a size six dress, the vicar has just informed us that the outside of the church will be under renovation during the week of the ceremony, and don't even mention flowers! You were wise to remain a bachelor, my friend."

"Yes," Giles said. "I suppose, in retrospect...listen, Parsons, I was wondering if I could ask a small favor."

"Name it," Parsons said.

"I was wondering...that is, I know that you've asked me to stay at your place and mind the house while you're on your honeymoon...."

"If you can't, it's alright," Parsons said. "I understand the importance your work in Sunnydale. I can always have my brother do it."

"No, it's not that at all," Giles said. "On the contrary, I was wondering if perhaps I could stay a few days after that."

After a moment of silence, Giles continued:

"That is, if I would not be imposing too much. I'm sure that you and Claire don't want a house guest so soon after...."

"Rupert, don't be foolish," Parsons said. "Of course you can stay. But I'm somewhat...it's just that you've never been able to take an extended holiday before. Is there a reason you'll be staying longer?"

"Well, I'm not sure that I will," Giles answered. "But, it's possible...that is, I might need a few days to take care of some personal business."

"Business?"

"Yes," Giles said. "I...I may need to look for a flat."

Parsons allowed a moment for Giles to give further explanation. Giles offered none. 

An acquaintance might have asked questions. A friend might have expressed concern. Giles and Parsons were the oldest of friends, from the oldest of English families. Parsons simply said:

"Stay as long as you like."

----------------------------------------

Spike looked down at the neon orange flier in his hand. He read:

  
GRAND OPENING!   
THURSDAY   
THREE BANDS! THREE BUCKS!   
LIVE MUSIC   
LADIES DRINK *FREE!* 'TIL TEN   
JOIN US AT THE ROCKET ROOM   
1604 EMERSON AVENUE, AT THE END OF JUNIPER STREET 

Spike tossed his cigarette to the ground and retreated into a shadowy corner in the alley of Juniper Street. There was no intersection of Emerson Avenue and Juniper. There was no Emerson Avenue. Most of the college crowd didn't know that, though, so there would be a number of co-eds strolling into the dark alleys of Juniper Street. Easy pickings. The vampires and demons of Sunnydale were second to none when it came to proactively creating opportunities.

Spike heard footsteps clacking down the alley. Heels, which meant it was a woman. That would make it easier.

"Lost, luv?" Spike asked, emerging from the shadows.

The girl gasped, then turned and faced Spike, petrified with fear.

'Right, then,' Spike thought to himself. 'Flash the fangs, get the purse, call it a night.'

"Hey!" A voice called from down the alley.

Spike turned, and saw a tall vampire in a white muscle shirt bolting toward the woman. He grabbed her arm as he reached her, and slapped his hand across her mouth before she could scream.

"She looked like she was ready to rabbit," the vamp explained. "There's enough here for two."

"Never been one to share and share alike," Spike muttered.

"Oh, c'mon!" the vampire protested. "Anything we get out of the old flyer scam gets divvied up. You know the score."

"Yeah, mate," Spike murmured. "I know the score."

"Cool," the vamp said, his wide smile revealing the razor fangs beneath his lips. "You found her. You first."

The vamp twisted the woman's head to expose her neck. She trembled, and her soft, muffled sobs echoed in the alley.

"I guess you're a bit of a rough customer?" Spike asked.

"I can hold my own," the vamp replied, a puzzled look crossing his face.

Spike took a step back, and said:

"Let's see then."

The vampire's eyes shifted between the woman in his grasp and Spike standing before him. The vamp could not understand why he'd found himself in this situation. However, the cold, determined look in Spike's eye made it clear that one of the two would not leave the alley alive.

The vampire snarled, threw the woman aside, and launched himself at Spike. A quick step to the side allowed Spike to avoid the vampire's grasp, and Spike caught the vampire with a high kick to the back of the head. 

The vampire tried to roll to his feet, but Spike was there as he arose. Spike backhanded the vampire across the face, sending the vampire crashing against a wall.

"You make me ill!" Spike said, kicking the vampire in the stomach. "Luring college birds into dark alleys with a stack of papers!"

Spike grabbed a board laying on the ground, and broke it over the head of the vampire.

"What the hell kind of a kill is that!?" Spike growled. "Bloody poofs! You call yourself a vampire? I used to mop the floor with gits like you! We're demons! We're animals! And look at you! Skulking and sneaking around like rats! You're pathetic!"

"Then what the hell are you doing out here?" the vamp asked, cradling his bloodied head in his hands.

Spike's jaw tensed. Finally, he said:

"Don't know, mate."

Spike rammed the board into the vamp's chest. It turned to dust.

"Thank you," a small voice called behind Spike.

"You should've taken off," Spike said, turning to face the girl. "There's no club. There's no band. Just sod off."

"I just wanted to thank you," the girl said, reaching a hand out to touch Spike's arm.

Spike took his first real look at the woman he'd rescued. She was at least thirty, with short dark hair and green eyes. She was tall, almost as tall as Spike. Her white blouse stood out against the deep tan of her face and arms.

"I was so scared," she continued. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't...."

Spike cut her off by shaking off her grip on his arm.

"I said sod off," Spike snarled. "You...you don't even look like her."

The girl tried to find Spike's meaning in his face, but found only stoney defiance. She took a step backwards, then turned and ran.

Spike shuffled his feet in the dust that had been a vampire, then reached in his jacket for a cigarette.

"Bugger all," Spike grumbled, sticking the cigarette in his mouth. "What the bloody hell's happening to me?"

Spike smirked as he remembered Drusilla's conversations with Ms. Edith. 

'Alright,' Spike thought to himself. 'No talking out loud to nobody. Down that path lies madness.'

Spike took his lighter from his pocket, lit his cigarette, then walked toward the street. It was still early enough to swing by Teeth and borrow a couple of kittens. After that, a couple of games with the lads and a bottle on the table would wash the taste of the night out of his mouth.

--------------------------------------

"Jinx, you idiot!"

"Please, Oh Most Perfect of Beings, I beg your forgiveness!" Jinx cried. "For my incompetence, please remove my foul arms from my most loathsome torso!"

"Ew!" Harmony exclaimed. "Do you know how much icky stuff comes out when you tear someone's arms off? No thank you! I might break them, but I'm not tearing them off!"

"My apologies!" Jinx yelped, looking up at the darkened stage. "I will endeavor to find some more fitting and sanitary form of torture for my despicable...."

"Jinx," Harmony said, looking down at the demon from the stage. "Do you even know what you did?"

"Well, no," Jinx said. "But I am sure that it was something wretched and unworthy!"

"Ya got that right!" Harmony shouted. "Alright, let me see if I can make you understand. I went to all the trouble of getting this abandoned theater for my sales presentation. Fifty vampires are going to be here in less than two hours, looking for my brilliant insights. With my guidance, they'll see how they can take their appetite for blood, and put themselves on the road to personal fulfillment, freedom and success."

"Turn two, the rest is food!" Jinx chimed in.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Harmony said. "Now, I go backstage to get dressed, and I find that you've laid out my sepia Chanel suit. Why do I wear my sepia Chanel suit?"

"Because the lines of the dress flatter your most perfect figure," Jinx responded.

"You bet your wrinkled minion ass they do!" Harmony shot back. "That's why I wear it for the meet-and-greets. But this is a presentation! I'm going to be up on stage, projecting large pie charts in primary colors! I go up there in a dark suit, I'll blend right into the background! No one will see me! How are all the vampires supposed to find the strength and resolve that they have as individuals, if they don't pay any attention to ME?!"

"Oh, but of course!" Jinx sighed. "How foolish of me!"

"Ugh, it's so hard to find good help," Harmony snorted. "Look, I don't know what kind of performance got you by when you were doing the whole 'suck-the-planet-into-hell' gig, but in the world of multilevel direct marketing, this kind of work JUST! DOESN'T! CUT IT!"

"I will endeavor to bring my humble services up to the high standards worthy of Your Most Wondrous Perfection," Jinx promised.

"You better," Harmony warned. "Alright, we've got two hours. That should leave you plenty of time to put out the extra chairs, set up the desert table, and iron my periwinkle Versace suit. And I swear, Jinx, if I find one bad crease on my suit, I will personally rip off each and every one of your toes, and shove them so far up your...."

Harmony stopped and squinted down at Jinx. Her keen vampiric sight could easily penetrate the darkness, but at the moment she was having trouble believing her eyes. Finally, she said:

"Jinx, are you...are you crying?"

"I'm alright," Jinx whimpered, trying to compose himself. "I...I just need a moment."

"Minions don't cry!" Harmony bellowed. "What's up with that? I haven't even maimed you yet! What kind of a minion starts bawling before you even maim them?"

"No, no, no," Jinx replied. "It's not that. I...I'll be fine."

"Well if it's not the imminent pain I'll be inflicting on you, what is it?" Harmony asked. "Why are you crying?"

"Oh," Jinx sighed. "It's just...I've finally...it's all just so...."

Jinx sniffed back a tear, and as a wide smile crossed his face, he proclaimed:

"It's good to be home!"

THE END

  
  


a/n: The final passage was inspired by a final scene of the "Disharmony" episode of AtS (which was edited out), which suggested that Harmony started her own pyramid scheme after leaving LA.

Thanks to Estepheia for her input.


End file.
